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BOSTON 

SMALL, MAYNARD ^ COMPANY 
PUBLISHERS 





rz^ 


V 


Copyright, 1926 

By small, MAYNARD & COMPANY 

(Incorporated) 



AUG 28*26 


Printed in the United States of America 


THE MURRAY PRINTING COMPANY 
CAMBRIDGE, MASS. 

THE BOSTON BOOKBINDING COMPANY 
CAMBRIDGE, MASS. 


©CU897993 

f 



TO 

THE REAL HUTCH 

WHOSE DELIGHTFUL CHILDHOOD WILL ALWAYS 
REMAIN ONE OF HIS FATHER’S MOST CHERISHED MEMORIES, 
THIS BOOK, IN GRATITUDE, IS LOVINGLY DEDICATED 



\ 


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, I 


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.1 ^ 





PREFACE 


Almost everybody is different on the outside. 

For instance, there are the people of Asia. 

Mostly they have yellow faces and straight black hair. 

There are the people of Europe who have pink faces and 
yellow hair. 

There are the people of Africa who have black faces and 
kinky black hair. 

There are the Indians of America who have red faces and 
the Indians of India who have brown faces, and so on and 
so on. 

But no matter how different we all are on the outside 
there is one thing on the inside of us that is just exactly 
alike and that is that we all want to know the ins and outs 
of everything. 

It is called curiosity and without this none of us would 
ever know anything. 

It is by asking questions that we learn the things that make 
us smart. 

And so you will understand that in this book. King 
Kuriosity is the thing inside of us that asks questions. 

And the land of Whyandwherefore is the place in the 
back of our heads where King Kuriosity lives. 

That’s why King Kuriosity goes to Rhymeland — because 
he wants to know why the cow jumped over the moon — 
why the mouse ran up the clock — why the three wise 
men went to sea in a bowl — and so on. 

And now that we are already, let’s begin.— 

Just a minute. Hutch is just a regular little boy like any 
other little boy. 

Now we’re all ready.— 


George Mitchell 






CONTENTS 


CHAPTER page 


I. 

The Land of Whyandwherefore 

1 

11. 

The Arrival at Rhymeland .... 

5 

III. 

The Royal Breakfast. 

10 

IV. 

The Cow that Jumped Over the Moon . 

14 

V. 

The Pig that Cried All the Way Home . 

20 

VI. 

The Old Lady that Lived in a Shoe 

. 2.S 

VII. 

Humpty Dumpty. 

27 

VIII. 

Simple Simon. 

. 30 

IX. 

The Mouse that Ran Up the Clock 

34 

X. 

And Ran Down Again. 

40 

XI. 

The Ten O’clock Scholar. 

. 45 

XII. 

The Spider and Miss Muffet .... 

. 50 

XIII. 

Little Tommy Green. 

. 55 

XIV. 

Old King Cole. 

. 60 

XV. 

This Little Pig. 

66 

XVI. 

Goes to Market. 

71 

XVII. 

And Comes Home Again. 

74 

XVIII. 

Three Wise Men. 

77 

XIX. 

Go to Sea in a Bowl. 

82 

XX. 

They Meet Myrtle. 

86 

XXI. 

Their Tale Had Been Longer .... 

. 89 

XXII. 

Good-bye to Mother Goose .... 

92 


[ix] 









KING KURIOSITY 





KING KURIOSITY 


CHAPTER ONE 

THE LAND OF WHYANDWHEREFORE 


Away far off in the land of Whyandwherefore which, as 
anyone who knows will tell you, lies just at the back of your 
head, there lived a king who in his long life had 
asked so many questions that his tongue was worn 
down as sharp and as pointed as a needle. 

His name was King Kuriosity. 
ears were long, the better to hear 
everything that was said. His eyes 
were big and sharp, the better 
to see all there was to be seen 
and his nose was as long as an 
eel and he poked it here, there 
and everywhere there might be a 
bit of news. 

He just had to know every¬ 
thing . . . why zebras wore 

striped suits and leopards polka- 
dotted ones . . . why storks stood 
on one leg, which he heard was 
because if they lifted the other 
one they would fall down . . . 
and so on and so on. 

And that’s the way matters 

[ 1 ] 



“Come in, come in, my gentle lad.** 

stood one fine day when 


























KING KURIOSITY 


who should come knocking at the palace gate but a little 
boy with a big book under his arm. The name of the boy 
was Hutch and the name of the book was ‘‘Mother Goose.” 

As soon as old King Kuriosity heard about it, he bounced 
down the royal stairway three steps at a time and flung 
the gate open: 

“Come in, come in, my gentle lad,” said he, for he wanted 
to know all about the book Hutch was carrying. 

So in walked Hutch and after a lot of “How do you do’s” 
and “Where did you come from’s” and “How’s your father and 
mother” and so on and so on, he, being a king and a very 
polite old gentleman, told Hutch he was very glad to 
see him and that he must spend the night with him. 

But as soon as Hutch had had his dinner and 
was fast asleep, old King Kuriosity put on his 
slippers and dressing gown and sat up in the big 
throne chair and read “Mother Goose’ 
from beginning to end. 

And in the morning he called 
Hutch to him and said: 

“My boy, I’m going to ask^ 
you a few questions and I’d like 
to have you answer them.” 

“I will if I can,” said Hutch. 

“Well, then,” said the King,. 

“tell me, if you please, why the 
cow jumped over the moon.^^” 

“I’m sure I don’t know,” 



Old King Kuriosity . . . sat up in the 
big throne chair. 


said Hutch, who had never heard such a silly question 
before. 

Well, well,” said the King. “Here is a cow that jumps 
over the moon and a mouse that runs up and down a clock 
and three wise men who go to sea in a bowl, and there is no 











THE LAND OF WHYANDWHEREFORE 


one to tell me why they do it and where they go to after 
they have done it.” 

And the upshot of it was that Hutch couldn’t answer 
the King’s questions and the King just had to know. 

“Well, never mind,” said the King. “I tell you what 
we’ll do. You and I will set out to find this land of Mother 
Goose which, judging by all the rhymes, must be called 
Rhymeland, and we’ll ask these pigs and spiders and cows 
why they did this and that, and we’ll soon get at the truth. 
That’s what we want. Hutch, the truth. And we’ll have 
a good time of it too, my lad.” 

So bright and early the next morning they sat down to a 
good breakfast. 

“I’ve a very beautiful present for Mother Goose,” said 
the King, “which I thought would please the old lady. The 
best way to please people is to give them things. Everybody 
likes to have lots of friends and the best way to make friends 
is to give them presents.” 

The present he had for Mother Goose was a nice silk lace 
handkerchief for her Gander. 

“I don’t know what a Gander is,” said the King. “Probably 
her grandfather or her aunt. Wlioever it is, he has a nose, 
and a nose the world over needs blowing every now and then.” 

Hutch would have told him his mistake about the Gander, 
but he thought it would be impolite to correct a king. 

And when it was time to start, all the people of Whyand- 
wherefore were at the palace gate and cheered and waved 
their hands as old King Kuriosity climbed aboard the royal 
airplane and with a great shout rose up in the air and they 
were off on their journey. 

And just before it began to grow dark and Hutch was 
beginning to think they would never find Rhymeland, he 
jumped up and pointed to a curious-looking country. 

[3] 


KING KURIOSITY 


‘‘What’s that funny-looking house over there in the shape 
of a shoe with all the children running about? It must be the 
Old Lady Who Lived in a Shoe.” 

“Then this must be Rhymeland,” said King Kuriosity. 

And just then from behind them there was a great noise 
and flapping of wings, and looking they saw a big Gander come 
flying as swift as an eagle and on his back sat old Mother 
Goose herself. 

“Welcome to Rhymeland,” she shouted. “Follow me and 
the end of your nose.” 

And King Kuriosity followed in the airplane and in a few 
minutes they came down to the ground. 

“Come into my house,” said 
Mother Goose, “and I will give 
you a cup of tea.” 

So they went into Mother 
Goose’s house, a very pleasant 
little cottage, and there was the 
owl at the door and everything 
just as it was in the book. 

And when King Kuriosity and 
Hutch had gone inside and 
Mother Goose had given them 
some tea. King Kuriosity gave 
Mother Goose the lace silk hand¬ 
kerchief for her Gander, but 
Mother Goose who was really 
a lady at heart didn’t laugh in the 
least when she thought of the Gander blowing his nose with it. 

And when King Kuriosity told Mother Goose why he had 
come to Rhymeland she was much pleased and promised that 
he and Hutch could go wherever they pleased and ask as 
many questions as ever thev could think of. 

[4] 



A very 'pleasant little cottage, and there 
'was the owl at the door. 








CHAPTER TWO 


THE ARRIVAL AT RHYMELAND 

That night after King Kuriosity and Hutch had been 
tucked snugly into bed and were snoring away for their dear 
lives, Mother Goose sat up half the night thinking how she 
could entertain her royal guest and his friend Hutch. 

“King Kuriosity,” said she to her very fine Gander, “is a 
very grand person and we must do something that will show 
him how very proud we are to have him here in 
Rhymeland. Everybody makes a great fuss over 
kings wherever they go and we, too, must do our 
best.” 

“Couldn’t we give him a great big ^ 
parade?” asked the Gander. ] 

“It would look too funny for any- / 
thing,” said Mother Goose ' 

laughing at the very idea. 

“Just think of the Four and V 
Twenty Blackbirds marching 

along beside the Cow That *'We'll give them a marvelous breakfast” 

Jumped Over the Moon.” 

“Yes, I guess you’re right,” said the Gander. “But what 
else can we do?” 

And they thought and they thought and they thought. 

Pretty soon Mother Goose jumped to her feet. 

“I know what,” said she. 

“What?” asked the Gander. 

“We’ll give them a marvelous breakfast and have all the 
people and animals here to meet them.” 

[5] 





KING KURIOSITY 


‘‘Dandy, dandy,” said the Gander. 

And so it was decided. 

And Mother Goose flew away on her Gander and told 
everybody and animal to come to the breakfast in their best 
clothes and be sure to brush their hair and their teeth and 
wash their hands and faces. And back she flew and had her 
little cottage all washed up and brushed and dusted and she 
hung flags and ribbons and what not all over the house till it 
looked like a palace on a king’s birthday. 

And later when King Kuriosity and Hutch came down to 
breakfast, they were surprised for, behold! All the people 
and animals were there to meet them, and there was the grand 
music of old King Cole’s flddlers three and Tom, Tom the 
Piper’s son’s father himself piping away on his pipes, and the 
bells of the old Lady of Bambury Cross ringing out, and the 
Cat and the Fiddle scratching away like mad, and such a 
great merry-making that never was such a breakfast set 
before a king, what with pies and puddings and cake for the 
people and the finest of cheese for the mice, and beautiful 
garbage for the pigs, and so on and so on till the table was 
near to breaking with the weight of it all. 

And when King Kuriosity and Hutch were seated at the 
head of the table and everybody and animal had eaten as 
much as ever they wanted. Mother Goose stood up to make 
a speech. 

But she had drunk so many cups of tea and had eaten 
so many lady fingers that she was all stuffed up and couldn’t 
say a word and her Gander had to speak for her, and this is 
what he said: 

“Pardon my verbosity. 

Old King Kuriosity, 

But I would like to introduce 
All the friends of Mother Goose.” 

[6] 


THE ARRIVAL AT RHYMELAND 


Just then when the Gander was taking a big breath to go 
on with his talk, the Three Blind Mice that ran into the 
farmer’s wife and had their tails cut off with the carving 
knife, began to run out on the table. 

‘‘What’s this, what’s this.^” said the Gander. 

“We want to show our new tails,” said the Three Blind 
Mice and they held them up in their little paws, and sure 
enough, there they were . . . nice new gray tails. 

“Why, it’s only darning yarn tied on,” said Hickory 
Dickory Dock, the mouse that ran up the clock.” 

“Well, what if it is.^” said the Three Blind Mice. “It’s 
better than no tails at all.” 

“Be that as it may,” said Hickory Dickory Dock — 

“You ought to know that yarn 
Is only used to darn 
The holes in children’s socks and pants 
By mothers and their spinster aunts.” 

“Order, order,” shouted the Gander, who was afraid 
the mice would get to quarrelling and spoil the party. 

But the Three Blind Mice who were afraid of all the cats 
at the table ran back to their places and were soon as quiet 
as mice and the Gander was about to begin to talk again when 
the Cock Horse That Rode the Old Lady to Bambury Cross 
got up on his hind legs: 

“Speaking of tails,” said he — 

But at that moment the Cow That Jumped Over the Moon 
jiunped over the chandelier and the Gander called again for 
order and when all was quiet the horse began again: 

“Speaking of tails reminds me—” 

Here he coughed once or twice behind his hoof. 

“You’ll have to excuse me. I caught cold last night and 
this morning I’m a little hoarse.” 

[ 7 ] 


KING KURIOSITY 


Everybody and animal giggled at that and the horse 
began again. 

‘‘Speaking of tails reminds me of a tale I heard the other 
day . . 

And all the animals and everybody giggled again, saying, 
“Isn’t he the comical horse 

And the Cock Horse began again: 

“And it went like this— 

“In pictures of the Dromedary” 


‘What’s a dromedary.^” asked Hutch of King Kuriosity. 

“I’m not sure,” said the King, “but I 
^ think it’s a date.” 

“Let’s ask,” said Hutch, and turning 
to Mother Goose he asked her. 
‘It’s a camel,” said she. 

“Then why doesn’t he call it 
a camel.^” said Hutch. 

“He’s a Cock Horse, and 
he’s showing off,” said Mother 

Here he coughed once or twice behind his r\r\ack 
hoof. vjoose. 

And the horse began again: 

“Speaking of tails reminds me. Oh, yes, I said that before. 

Where was I.^ Oh, yes . . . 



“In pictures of the Dromedary 
You will find him making very 
Sad and rather mournful faces 
When he’s not in an oasis. 


“And the reason is befitting: 
Camels do a lot of sitting 
And you know, as like as not. 
That the sand is awful hot.” 
[ 8 ] 





THE ARRIVAL AT RHYMELAND 


There was a great deal of laughing and giggling all around 
the table as the Cock Horse sat down and the Gander got up 
on his feet again. 

‘‘As I was saying before,” said he, “I’d like to introduce 
the friends of Mother Goose,” and before any one else could 
interrupt him he went at so great a speed that you could 
scarcely understand him: 

“There’s old King Cole and his Fiddlers Three, 

And the Three Wise Men who went to sea. 

Little Miss Muffet and Little Boy Blue 

And the funny Old Lady That Lives in a Shoe.” 

Here he stopped long enough to mop his forehead with the 
pretty lacy hanky King Kuriosity had given him, tucking it 
under his wing when he had finished: 

“The Cow that Jumped Over The Great Big Moon, 

The Ten O’Clock Scholar that came at noon. 

The King, the Queen and the Blackbird Pie, 

Little Jack Horner, the Spider and Fly.” 

And goodness knows what else he might have said, but at 
that moment everybody and animal began to talk at once and 
you couldn’t hear your ears. 


[ 9 ] 


CHAPTER THREE 


THE ROYAL BREAKFAST 

You see all the people and animals thought that King 
Kuriosity wanted to hear what they had done. And when they 
began to talk they shouted and yelled so loud everything 
was jumbled up and you never heard anything like it — what 
with pigs and birds and cows and mice and horses and boys and 
girls and kings and queens and so on and so on, and this is 
what it sounded like: 

Jack and Jill come blow your horn, 

Hush-a-bye-Baby the cows in the corn. 

Little Jack Horner went to the cupboard, 

‘‘Baa Baa Black Sheep,” said old Mother Hubbard. 

A dillar, a dollar a Ten O’clock Scholar, 

Frightened Miss Muffet and marked it with T, 

Old King Cole went to sea in a bowl. 

He put in his thumb and out goes she. 

Old Mother Hubbard and Little Boy Blue 

Had so many children they didn’t know what to do. 

Wee Willie Winkle without any wife 

Sewed a fine seam with a carving knife. 

Pussy Cat, Pussy Cat, pudding and pie. 

Lady Bug, Lady Bug, I saw him die. 

The Cat and the Fiddle with bells on her toes 
Rode a Cock Horse and pecked off her nose. 

[ 10 ] 


THE ROYAL BREAKFAST 


Solomon Grundy put in his thumb, 

The Little Dog laughed and pulled out a plum. 

Old Mother Goose jumped over the moon, 

Rub-a-dub-dub ran away with the spoon. 

Georgey Porgey was wondrous wise; 

The Cows in The Meadow scratched out his eyes. 
Daffy Down Dilly could eat no fat. 

So he went to the cupboard to buy him a hat. 

Well, you can see, as easily as the nose on your face, 
that King Kuriosity couldn’t make head or tail of all that 
jumble. So he got up and thanked them for what they had 
said, and thinking that they could only understand rhyme, 
said he: 

‘T tell you what we’d better do, 

I think I’ll call on each of you; 

In that way you can tell your story—” 

Here he broke down because he couldn’t think of a word 
to rhyme with “story” except Billy McGlory, and he forgot 
who Billy was. But they understood what he wanted just the 
same. 

And so it was arranged, and everything would have been 
sweet as pie if the Cat That Had Been to London to See the 
Queen hadn’t thought that she was a little bit more class than 
the cat that Tommy Green had put down the well and King 
Kuriosity should visit her first. 

“No, no,” said Tommy Green’s cat. “You’re no more the 
great lady than I am.” 

And the Cat That Went to London put up her back and 
bristled her whiskers and said: “You’re only common back¬ 
yard trash.” 

“I’m not,” said Tommy Green’s cat, really offended. 

[ 11 ] 


KING KURIOSITY 


“You are,” said the Cat That Had Been to London. 


“You are.” 
“I’m not.” 
“You are.” 


And before you could say “Hickory Dickory” they began 
to fight as cats will all the world over and the cups and saucers 


began to fly and 
the table, once so 
beautiful, looked 
like a china shop 
after a bull had 
got through with 
it. 



And in the 
midst of it the Spi¬ 
der That Fright- 


The Cat that Went to London put up her back and bristled her 
whiskers. 


ened Miss Muffet Away and who wasn’t even invited because 
Mother Goose thought his manners were too bad, climbed in 
through the window and crawled up the leg of the table and bit 
King Kuriosity on the ankle, and of course the King, who 
wasn’t used to having his ankles bitten, jumped and in the 
scramble that followed the table was turned over and chairs 
were broken and everybody and animal rushed pell mell for the 
door and King Kuriosity lost his wig. 

But he was a good old soul, was King Kuriosity, for when 
he saw that Mother Goose was in tears because of the shocking 
behavior of her people and animals, just when she wanted 
them to show off at their best, he went to her and patted her 
on the shoulder and told her that he would rather lose his 
entire head than to see her crying. 

So Mother Goose dried her eyes on her Gander’s handker¬ 
chief and everybody was happy again, and the party broke 
up quite as joyfully as parties should except for a few scratches, 


[U] 






THE ROYAL BREAKFAST 


and as a matter of fact no more than is usual with parties. 

And later when King Kuriosity and Hutch were alone 
the King said: 

“You see, Hutch, this all comes of people, like cats, having 
too much pride. The Cat That Went to London got too stuck- 
up about seeing the Queen and wanted to snub the other cat. 
That’s pride, and pride leads to vanity.” 

“Yes, I see,” said Hutch. 

“Never have too much vanity, my boy,” said King 
Kuriosity. “It’s very bad for you.” 

“I won’t,” said Hutch. 

“By-the-bye,” said King Kuriosity, “I wonder how I 
look myself. I’m ashamed to call on anybody till I get to my 
room and put on another wig.” 

And Hutch thought to himself: 

“King Kuriosity, bless his heart, is about as vain as any 
of the rest of them.” 


CHAPTER FOUR 


THE COW THAT JUMPED OVER THE MOON 

The next morning, after a good night’s sleep, for they had 
been tired from their long journey and the breakfast party, 
King Kuriosity and Hutch were up and Mother Goose had 
a very simple breakfast ready for them. Four and Twenty 
Blackbirds baked in a pie. 

After they had finished the pie, they thanked her and set 
out to visit some of the friends they had made at the party. 

And after they had walked along the road awhile, they 
came to a meadow and saw a cow contentedly cropping the 
grass. 

“That must be the Cow That Jumped Over The Moon,” 
said Hutch. “Don’t you think so.^^” 

“Let’s go and ask her,” said King Kuriosity. 

And walking up to the cow. King Kuriosity took off his 
crown and bowed. 

“Are you by any chance the Cow That Jumped Over 
The Moon.f^” he asked. 

The cow, who had seen them coming, was not to be 
outdone in politeness. She stopped grazing and made them 
a bow that was every bit as charming as the King’s. Then, 
swallowing her cud, for she knew that no one ever talked with 
his mouth full, she answered: 

“Yes, I am the Cow That Jumped Over The Moon, and 
I am honored to meet you.” 

“And we are very proud to meet you,” said King Kuri¬ 
osity. “We came all the way from the land of Whyandwhere- 

[ 14 ] 


THE COW THAT JUMPED OVER THE MOON 


fore to ask you why you jumped over the moon and where 
you landed when you came down?” 

The cow lowered her eyes bashfully, for she was a modest 
creature and little used to so much attention. 

‘Tf your Highnesses will be good enough to sit upon that 



fence and make yourselves comfortable, I will be pleased to 
tell you,” said she. 

So King Kuriosity and Hutch sat upon the fence and the 
cow, whom we now know well enough to call by her name, 
“Ethel,” sat upon a rock close by and when they were seated, 
Ethel said: 

“I jumped over the moon because I was a very silly cow and 
thought I could be happier somewhere else than here in my 
own lovely meadow. People are like that. They are never 
satisfied with what they have,” she said. 

“You’re quite right,” said King Kuriosity. “But do tell 
us where you jumped to.” 


[ 15 ] 









KING KURIOSITY 



Ethel cleared her throat and began: 

“One fine night in the month of June 
I up and I jumped right over the moon, 

Spilling my milk as I went, they say. 

Which left on the sky the Milky Way. 

“Pardon me,” said she, interrupting herself with a pretty 
blush. “In Rhymeland all of us very often talk in rhyme. I 
didn’t mean to.” 

“Go on, go on,” said King Kuriosity. “I love poetry.” 

“But it isn’t polite to show off,” 
said Ethel. “And besides it’s too hard 
to find the right words to 
rhyme with, as anybody who 
ever wrote poetry will tell 
you.” 

“But we love it,’ 

Hutch. 

“Well, I’ll try. But you will forgive me if my rhyming is 
not good.” 

“We will,” said King Kuriosity. 

“Well, where was I.^” asked Ethel. 

“Oh yes, in the sky 
Jumping way up over the moon. 

Like a kite or a balloon, 

Down on the other side I flopped; 

Into a circus tent I dropped.” 

Here Ethel stopped again: 

“It’s not very good poetry,” she said, 
remember I’m a cow and not a poet.” 

“Go on, go on,” said King Kuriosity. 

And Ethel went on: 


•1 Pardon me,'* said she, interrupting herself 
with a pretty blush. 


‘But you must 


[ 16 ] 




THE COW THAT JUMPED OVER THE MOON 


“Well, you can easily realize 
How the children opened their eyes 
And clapped their hands and shouted with glee 
And danced with joy when they saw me. 

“Really, I’m making a mess of this poetry,” said Ethel. 
“ I guess I’m a little nervous. I tell you what I’ll do. I’ll tell 
you the story now and maybe tomorrow or the next day I’ll 
have it written out in verse and send it to you.” 

“Very well,” said King Kuriosity. “Suit yourself, and 
that will please us.” 

“Thank you,” said Ethel. “Where was I.^” 

“Where you landed into the circus tent,” said Hutch. 

“Oh, yes,” said Ethel. “Well, when the circus man saw 
what a fine jumper I was, he held on to me you may be sure 
and put me right in the circus.” 

“You became an actor,” said Hutch. 

“An actress,” said Ethel proudly correcting him. “I had 
to jump over twelve ele¬ 
phants at each performance 
twice a day and between 
times I had to give 
milk to feed the baby 
monkeys, cream for 
the circus man’s 
coffee, ice cream 
for the cones they 
sold to the 
children that 

, “7 had to jump over twelve elephants at each performance. 

came to the 

circus and cheese to fill the traps to catch the mice that ate 
the animals’ hay.” 

“What fun,” said Hutch. “Didn’t you like it?” 

“Oh, yes,” said Ethel, hiding a yawn behind her hoof. 

[ 17 ] 










KING KURIOSITY 


“At first I did; but it soon got tiresome and I wanted to get 
back home to my own sweet meadow here, where all is quiet 
and peaceful.” 

“But ybu travelled all over and saw the world,” said 
Hutch. “You surely must have liked that.” 

Ethel again yawned behind her hoof. 

“I saw the world with that circus,” said she, 

“ From Zanzibar to the seventh sea. 

But take my word for it, alas, 

A blade of grass is a blade of grass. 

“Your pardon again,” said she, as her cheek reddened with 
modesty. “I will break into poetry and I shouldn’t. What I 
meant to say is that if you’ve seen one blade of grass you’ve 
seen them all.” 

“I suppose you’re right,” said Hutch. 

“Right as a mouthful of clover,” said Ethel. “The man 
who said ‘there’s no place like home’ put his hoof on it. It’s 
all well enough for you and his majesty King Kuriosity to 
be gallivanting around the world finding the ins and outs 
of things, but for me, a plain, everyday, milk-giving cow, my 
place is in the meadow chewing my cud and giving my fourteen 
quarts a day. I was glad to get back home.” 

And as Hutch and King Kuriosity walked away, the King 
said to Hutch: “You see it’s like this, Hutchie, my lad: 
People are different. Some like chocolate ice cream and 
others like horse-radish. Some like to run around finding 
out the why and the wherefore of everything.” 

“Just like you and me,” said Hutch. 

“Exactly,” said King Kuriosity. 

“I see,” said Hutch. “And the Cow That Jumped Over the 
Moon was unhappy because she should have stayed at home 
where she belonged, giving milk.” 

[ 18 ] 


THE COW THAT JUMPED OVER THE MOON 


“That’s it in a nutshell,” said the King. “If you’re satis¬ 
fied with honey on your pancakes, don’t change it for vinegar.” 
“I won’t,” said Hutch. 

“Good,” said King Kuriosity. 


CHAPTER FIVE 


THE PIG THAT CRIED ALL THE WAY HOME 

Hutch, you must remember, wanted to meet the Old 
Lady That Lived in a Shoe and see all the children she had 
and how they lived in a shoe and all that. 

So, the next day he thought he’d go over to her shoe-house 
and see for himself. 

“It must be great fun to have all those brothers and sisters,” 
he thought. “Lots of children to play with.” 

And as he walked along the road, he heard a noise behind 
him and he stopped. 

And pretty soon there came toward him a little pig and 
it was crying. 

And Hutch stepped up to the little pig and said: 

“Why are you crying, little pig.^” 

And the little pig said: 

“I am the Little Pig That Cried All the Way Home, and 
I’ve been crying ever since.” 

“I’m very sorry for you,” said Hutch. “But won’t you 
tell me why you are crying.^” 

“It’s very easy to begin crying,” said the Little Pig, 
“but it’s very hard to stop once you’ve begun, as any little 
pig or boy or girl will tell you.” 

“Yes, I know,” said Hutch. “But tell me what started 
you crying.^” 

“It’s a very sad story,” said the Little Pig. 

“Maybe if you told it to me it would make you feel better,” 
said Hutch who felt sorry for the poor thing. 

[ 20 ] 


THE PIG THAT CRIED ALL THE WAY HOME 

“Maybe it will,” said the Little Pig, and sitting down in 
the road on her curly little tail she stopped crying long enough 
to tell the following story: 

“Once when I was but a bride 
My husband walking by my side. 

We chanced upon a babbling 
brook; 

Said he: ‘My dear, let’s have a 
look.’ 

“And so we wandered arm in arm, 

Neither one suspecting harm; 

Perfect was that afternoon. 

Happy was our honeymoon. 

“When, from our side, upon a log 
Where we were sitting, jumped a frog 
Who dived as nicely as you please. 

Into the brook, with perfect ease. 

“Whereat my husband swelled with pride. 

Then stood upon the river side. 

And said: ‘You think that hard to do? 

Just watch me, I can do it, too.’ 

“In vain, I begged him not to try. 

Said I: ‘My darling, you will die.’ 

‘Aside,’ said he, ‘I’m not a fool,’ 

And dove headfirst into the pool. 

“And though I watched and watched in vain. 

My darling sank and sank again. 

As round about the fishes swam. 

And fed themselves upon his ham.” 

[ 21 ] 



“Once when I was hut a hridet 
My husband walking by my side.** 





KING KURIOSITY 


And when the Little Pig had finished her story 
she began to cry all over again. 

“Well, that’s a pretty sad story,” said Hutch, 

“and I hope that it has been a lesson to all 
other little pigs not to try to do things they are 
not meant to do.” 

“I hope so, too,” said the Little Pig 
and she trotted away home crying as she She trotted away home 

. crying as she went, 

went. 






CHAPTER SIX 


THE OLD LADY THAT LIVED IN A SHOE 


1 


And soon Hutch came to the shoe-house where the Old 
Lady lived who had so many children and, although it was 
still early in the evening the Old 
Lady was spanking her children and 
putting them to bed. 

So Hutch walked up to her 
and said: 

“Old Lady, why are you 
putting your children to bed 
so early^ 

“Early.?^” 
said the Old 
Lady. “This 

isn’t early ” Lady was spanking her children and putting them to bed. 

“Why, it’s only five o’clock,” said Hutch. 

“Well, even if it is,” said the Old Lady, “when you have 
as many children as I have, you’ve got to begin early. If I 
didn’t start at five o’clock it would be the middle of the night 
before I had ’em all spanked and tucked in.” 

“Quite so, quite so,” said Hutch. “But why do you 
spank them.f^ They seem to be pretty proper children.” 

“Oh, yes, they’re good enough,” said the Old Lady. 
“But the reason why I spank them is as plain as the nose on 
your face. Some people think it’s because I am a cruel mother. 
But, bless your heart, that isn’t the reason at all, at all. 



KING KURIOSITY 


I love my children as much as any mother in the world and 
it’s for that very reason I spank them.” 

“Come, come,” said Hutch, “I never heard of a mother 
spanking her children because she loved them.” 

“You may believe me or not,” said the Old Lady, “but 
that’s the truth of it just the same, for I spank them to keep 
them warm. Did you ever hear of warming your jacket?” 

“Yes, indeed,” said Hutch. 

“Well, that’s what I do,” said the Old Lady. 

“And why do you warm their jackets if they are good 
children?” asked Hutch. 

“Because I haven’t enough blankets to go round,” said 
the Old Lady, “and they’d be cold if I didn’t spank them till 
they got warm.” 

“How many blankets have you?” asked Hutch. 

“Just the one,” said the Old Lady. 

“And what do you do with that one?” asked Hutch. 

“I spread it over myself,” said the Old Lady. 

“Isn’t it big enough to cover all the children?” asked 
Hutch. 

“Yes, I guess it is,” said the Old Lady. 

“Then, if I were you,” said Hutch, “I’d put the children 
under the blanket and spank myseK to keep warm, it wouldn’t 
hurt the children so much.” 

“I never thought of that,” said the Old Lady. 

“Well, do,” said Hutch. 

“I will,” said the Old Lady. 

“And now,” said Hutch, “I’d like to ask you how you 
came to live in a shoe.” 

“I don’t know,” said the Old Lady, “except that my 
husband was one of the finest cobblers that ever stood up 
in shoe leather. And when we talked about building a home 
for ourselves and the children, he thought he could easier 

[ 24 ] 


THE OLD LADY THAT LIVED IN A SHOE 


make a big shoe than a big house 
to fit us all, for he was no carpen¬ 
ter. And I’m thankful at least 
that he wasn’t a baker or we’d be 
living in an oven and all be baked 
to a cinder by this time.” 

“Or if you had married a plumb¬ 
er,” said Hutch, “you’d be all 
drowned in a bath¬ 
tub.” 

“Right you are,” 
said the Old Lady, 

“and speaking of 
funny houses, I may 
tell you of some 
friends of mine. 

There’s the Oyster, 
for instance. Did «. ,771. »^ 

If you had married a plumber you d 

you ever hear of 
the Oysters.^’ 



be all drowned in a bathtub.' 


"No,” said Hutch. “But I’d like to.” 
“Well, it’s this way” said the Old Lady. 


“I knew an oyster very well 
Who’s never been outside his shell. 

The Oyster says the reason why 
Is: if he did, he’d surely die. 

“And there’s the snail and it’s a queer house he lives 
I’m sure.” 

“How do you mean.^” asked Hutch. 

“I’ll tell you,” said the Old Lady. 

“The Snail, he carries his house on his back. 
The way a peddler shoulders his pack, 

[ 25 ] 














KING KURIOSITY 


And maybe for days and maybe more 
He won’t put his nose outside his door.” 

‘'Maybe that’s why he walks so slowly,” said Hutch. 

“There’s no maybe about it,” said the Old Lady. “For 
one reason, being cooped in all day he gets no exercise at all, 
and for another he has to carry his house on his back and 
when you come to think of it I guess anybody would be slow 
if he had to carry his house on his back. Think of King 
Kuriosity gallivanting around with his palace on his 
shoulders.” 

All this time the Old Lady had been spanking her children 
and putting them to bed and when she had reached the last 
one she turned to Hutch and said: 

“Well, young man. I’ll be wishing you a good night. The 
first thing you know it’ll be time to start getting the children 
up again and off to school.” And without another word she 
popped inside of her shoe, pulled the shoestring latch and 
was gone. 

“Well, well, well,” said Hutch. “She’s a queer old lady 
to be sure. It seems to me that if I had a lot of children, I 
wouldn’t spank them.” 

“You wouldn’t, eh?^’ said a voice close beside him and 
looking around, he saw Humpty Dumpty sitting on a wall. 


[ 26 ] 


CHAPTER SEVEN 


HUMPTY DUMPTY 

‘‘Don’t you know,” said Humpty Dumpty, “that there 
is no difference between crying and laughing?” 

“No, I didn’t,” said Hutch, “and if you will excuse me for 
saying it, I don’t believe you.” 

“You may believe me or not,” said Humpty Dumpty. 
“They are exactly alike. I’ve heard people who laugh as if 
they were crying and vice versa.” 

“And what may vice versa mean?” asked Hutch. 

“Vice versa means upside down, inside out, topsy-turvy, 
hindside front,” said Humpty Dumpty, “and that’s what 
crying and laughing are. Another reason why they are 
alike is that they are both made in the mouth, and if you do 
too much of one or the other it is very harmful for you.” 

“That may be so,” said Hutch. “But I’d rather laugh 
than cry any day, and so would anybody else.” 

“Like my old friend, the Giraffe,” said Humpty Dumpty. 

“What friend, the Giraffe?” asked Hutch. 

“If you’ve got a minute to spare,” said Humpty Dumpty, 
“I will tell you about him. You will have to excuse my not 
getting down on the ground,” said he, “for if I were to roll 
off this wall, it would take all the King’s horses and all the 
King’s men to put me together again.” 

“Stay where you are then,” said Hutch. 

And without any more talk about it, Humpty Dumpty 
began to recite: 


[ 27 ] 


KING KURIOSITY 



“I know a Giraffe 
Who wanted to laugh, 

But his mouth was too far from his tummy 
And try as he would 
It did him no good. 

For he made no more sound than a 
dummy. 

“ ‘My neck is too long 
That must be what’s wrong,’ 

Said he, ‘And I’m sure it’s provoking,’ 

So he tied a big knot 

In his neck, but he got 

For his trouble, a terrible choking. 


“Then he got on his knees 
In front of two trees. 

And put through his head in the 
middle. 

And sawed up and down 

Like a silly old clown 

Or a pollywog playing a fiddle. 

“At last in despair 
He pulled out his hair. 

And grasped in his hoofs a sharp 
hatchet. 

Then bravely he said: 

‘I’ll chop off my head 

And nearer my funny bone patch it.’ 



“And now, if you please. 
He giggles with ease. 





HUMPTY DUMPTY 



Although he’s an odd-looking creature. 

For although he can laugh. 

He’s a funny Giraffe, 

For he ruined his neck — his best feature.” 

“It’s a sad story,” said Hutch, as 
the tears ran down both his cheeks and 
dropped in a lake at his feet, “a very 
sad story indeed.” 

“But a true one,” said Hump- 
■^aj^nny'mrafe. Dumpty. “The reason I told 

neck—his best feature.*’ it to you is that it has a moral 
in it.” 

“What’s a moral asked Hutch. 

“I don’t know,” said Humpty Dumpty. 

“Well,” said Hutch, “I’m much obliged to you for your 
story anyhow.” 

“You’re welcome,” said Humpty Dumpty. 

And as Hutch left him and wandered down the road he 
thought to himself: 

“This is the funniest country I’ve ever been in. First, I 
meet a little Pig That Cries All The Way Home. Next I meet 
an Old Lady who believes in spanking her children so they may 
cry themselves to sleep. And here is Humpty Dumpty’s 
friend the Giraffe who cut off his head and pasted it nearer 
his funny bone, so that he would be able to laugh. Animals 
as well as people do the strangest things.” 

“You’re right there,” said a voice, “for there are some 
people who have too much, and others that haven’t enough.” 

Hutch looked about to see who it was that spoke to him 
and there stood Simple Simon. 



CHAPTER EIGHT 


SIMPLE SIMON 

‘‘You mean the Pig That Had Roast Beef and The Pig 
That Got None?” asked Hutch. 

“No, I don’t,” said Simple Simon. “I mean Little Jack 
Horner who had a whole pie for himself, and I, myself, who 
can’t get one because I haven’t any penny.” 

“That’s because you are simple,” said Hutch. 

“Well, if you’re so smart,” said Simple Simon, “perhaps 
you can tell me how I can get a pie.” 

“That I can,” said Hutch. 

“How?” asked Simple Simon. 

“Do you remember the Crooked Man who lived in the 
crooked house beside the crooked stile?” asked Hutch. 

“Yes,” said Simple Simon. 

“Well,” said Hutch, “beside the crooked stile he found 
a crooked sixpence, didn’t he?” 

“Yes, I remember,” said Simple Simon. 

“Well, if I were you,” said Hutch, “I’d look around the 
stile till I found another crooked sixpence and then I’d go 
to the pieman and buy six pies.” 

“Yes,” said Simple Simon. “But they’d be crooked pies, 
wouldn’t they?” 

“Well, even if they were,” said Hutch, “a crooked pie is 
better than none, isn’t it?” 

“Maybe it is,” said Simple Simon. 

“You must be satisfied with what you have,” said Hutch. 

“How can I be satisfied, if I haven’t anything to be 
satisfied with?” said Simple Simon. 

[ 30 ] 


SIMPLE SIMON 


‘‘And if you haven’t any penny to buy a pie with,” said 
Hutch, “you can be satisfied with something else, can’t you?” 
“What for instance?” asked Simple Simon. 

“There are many things in the world beside pie,” said 
Hutch. “But the trouble with you is that you want pie 
and won’t be satisfied with anything else.” 

“Maybe you’re right,” said Simple Simon. 

“Did you ever hear the story of the Maltese cat?” asked 
Hutch. 

“No,” said Simple Simon. 

“Well, I will tell it to you,” said Hutch. 

So they sat in the road and Hutch began: 

“A friend of mine, a Maltese 
cat, 

Once sat upon a cosy mat. 

And saw way up above her 
head 

A china cat, striped blue and — 

1 “A friend of mine, a Maltese cat 

red. Once sat upon a cosy mat.'' 

“Said she: ‘I’d love 
to look that gay, 
I’m tired of wearing 
^ modest gray, 

1 / I’ll get some paint 
and stripe myself 
^ To look like her 
upon the shelf.’ 

“She got two pots, one red, one blue. 

She thought that was the thing to do. 

Then spilled them out upon the floor 
And drank until there was no more. 

[ 31 ] 



‘ * I'll get some paint and stripe m\ 
To look like her upon the shelf.' 



























KING KURIOSITY 


“YouVe guessed the rest, as like as not, 
She went to heaven, like a shot. 

‘I may be dull outside,’ she cried, 

‘But I am beautiful inside’.” 



“You see,” said Hutch, 
g “she wasn’t satisfied with 
1 what she looked like. She 
' wanted stripes and drank 


the paint.” 


(< 


“I under- 


“ ‘I may be dull outside* she cried, 
‘But I am beautiful inside*** 


stand,” said 
Simple Simon. 


“Thank goodness for that,” said Hutch. 

“For what.f^” asked Simple Simon. 

“That you understand,” said Hutch. “But I don’t 
think you understand at all.” 

“Yes, I do,” said Simple Simon. 

“Tell me then,” said Hutch. 

And Simple Simon said: 

“The reason why the malty cat drank the paint is because 
she wanted to be beautiful inside of her.” 

And Hutch was so surprised that Simple Simon should 
say anything so true that he almost fell over backwards. 

“That’s one of the best things I’ve ever heard,” said Hutch. 
“Lots and lots of people are ugly on the outside. Their 
eyes and their noses and their ears and everything about 
them are not beautiful, but somehow you love them very 
much, because on the inside, they are very beautiful.” 

Simple Simon laughed. 

“How can you see their insides.^” he asked. 

“By the way they act,” said Hutch. “They are kind 
and unselfish and that makes them beautiful inside and you 








SIMPLE SIMON 


can see it in their faces even though they are not pretty.’’ 

“And is that what the malty cat did?” asked Simple Simon. 

“No,” said Hutch. “She was a silly cat who wanted to 
look beautiful on the outside and she thought that if she 
drank some red and blue paint, it would make beautiful colors 
on her fur.” 

“I see,” said Simple Simon. “What she should have done 
was to be kind and unselfish on the inside and then she would 
have been beautiful on the outside.” 

“That’s it,” said Hutch. “You’re not as simple as your 
name.” 

“I know something more,” said Simple Simon. 

“And what’s that?” asked Hutch. 

“Beauty on the inside is better than beauty on the out¬ 
side because it lasts longer,” said he. 

“You’re a smart lad,” said Hutch. 


[ 33 ] 


CHAPTER NINE 


THE MOUSE THAT RAN UP THE CLOCK 

Early the next morning Hutch was up and dressed and 
down and out in the warm sunshine, and there he found 
Simple Simon sitting on the doorstep. 

“ Well,” said Hutch, “did you find the crooked sixpence.^” 

“No,” said Simple Simon. “I looked and I looked. I 
guess there was only one sixpence there.” 

“Too bad,” said Hutch. “Better forget all about the 
pie and try for a piece of cake or bread and jam. They’re 
good, too, you know.” 

“No, I’m a pie eater,” said Simple Simon. “I guess I 
was born that way. Birds eat worms and fish eat worms 
and men eat fish and lions eat men, and so on and so on, 
and I’m a pie eater and I must go and find the pieman and 
see if I can get a pie out of him without any penny.” And 
away he went down the road singing: 

“Will someone please to tell me why 
I must always want a pie? 

Why can’t I change my mind and take 
A cookie or a piece of cake?” 

And Hutch wondered why people must always want the 
things they can’t have and make themselves unhappy about it. 

“Well, well, well,” said a voice behind him and looking. 
Hutch saw old King Kuriosity standing in the doorway: 

“Good morning to you. Master Hutch, 

I love this morning very much.” 

[ 34 ] 


THE MOUSE THAT RAN UP THE CLOCK 


And he laughed: 

“I’m beginning to talk in rhyme myself like all these 
people here in Rhymeland,” said he. “Try it yourself, Hutch, 
my lad.” 

“I don’t think I can,” said Hutch. “I’ve never made a 
rhyme in all my life. 

“You know it takes a lot of time 
To learn to talk or make a rhyme.” 

“There, you’ve done it,” said the King. “But come, we 
must be off. Do you know where we are going today 

Hutch didn’t know, of course, but he knew that the 
King loved him to ask questions, so he asked: 

“Where?” 

“We are going to see Hickory Dickory Dock, the Mouse 
Ran Up the Clock,” said he, “and at last we shall be able 
to tell why he did it. Mother Goose has told me where he 
lives. So come along.” 

So they walked along till they came to a fork in the 
road. 

“This is the fork in the road she told me about,” said 
King Kuriosity. 

Hutch didn’t see any fork in the road, but he was too 
polite to argue with the King about it. But again he thought 
that the King would like him to ask questions, so he asked 
politely: 

“Who put the fork in the road?” 

And the King didn’t know any more than Hutch what a 
fork in the road was, so he said: “It was dropped there by the 
Dish That Ran Away With the Spoon.” 

“I see,” said Hutch. 

And soon they came to the house where the mouse Hickory 
Dickory Dock lived, and there he was sitting on his porch 

[ 35 ] 


KING KURIOSITY 


sunning himself. And the King took off his golden crown and 
said: 

“Good morning, Mr. Hickory!” 

And the mouse said he was pleased to meet the King, and 
so forth. And when they were through 'V, 
introducing one another the King said: 

“Now, Mr. Hickory, I’d like to 
know why you ran up the clock and 
down again when it struck one.” 

And the mouse, flattered with so 
much attention from a King, invited 
him and Hutch to be seated on the 
porch, and, when they were com¬ 
fortable, the mouse began: 

Not so many years ago, I 
had a wife and a great 
many children, at least 
a dozen and maybe more, 
and we lived in the cellar 
of a house and it was a 
very poor place to bring 
up a lot of children, in¬ 
deed, for they were always getting sick, and were very pale 
and thin. 

Indeed, they were very miserable. 

One of the children was always down with something or 
other. If it wasn’t the measles, it was the whooping cough, 
which is much more dangerous than anything else a mouse 
can have, as you may know, for coughing makes so much 
noise the cat is bound to hear it and then a mouse’s life 
isn’t worth the holes in a Swiss cheese. 

So, one day when the sun was shining brightly outdoors, 
and it was very dark and cold in the cellar, and my wife, her- 

[ 36 ] 



There he was sitting on his porch sunning himself. 










THE MOUSE THAT RAN UP THE CLOCK 


self, had a touch of lumbago, and Nellie and Arabella, the 
twins, were down with the mumps, and 
Joshua and Theodore and Wallace — 
those were the three youngest boys 
— had tonsillitis, because they had 
gone in swimming against their moth¬ 
er’s advice to stay out of the water till 



My wife, herself, had a touch of lumbago. 


it got warmer — well, as I was say- y 

ing, I went out to see if I couldn’t 

find a more comfortable apartment 

V ^ 

for my family to live in. 



I crawled along the ceiling of 

the cellar and soon found a hole Nellie and Arabella, the twins, were 

down with the mumps. 

that my family had taken turns 

making into the dining room upstairs, which was a nice, sunny 
room. 

And as I stood in the dining room a moment by the 
sideboard, which covered the hole, I saw little Jack Horner, 
and he was sitting in the corner at the dining-room table, 
eating a Christmas-pie. 

“I’d like to be a little boy,” said I to myself, as the pie 
disappeared behind his appetite. “Boys always have plenty 
to eat, and no cats or people to chase them or set traps for 
them. Dear me, I’d just love to be a boy.” 

Well, I watched Jack Horner put the Christmas-pie away, 
and I was very well pleased to notice that he couldn’t eat 
all of it — though h,e tried his best to do so. 

And when he had eaten as much of it as he could, he slid off 
his chair and went away. 

As soon as he had gone, I came out from my hiding place 
[ 37 ] 






KING KURIOSITY 


and climbed up the chair and out on the table where I sat and 
finished the pie. 

“My — my,” said I, 

“That’s awful good pie.” 

“Excuse me,” said he, 

“In Rhymeland 
You understand. 

We talk in rhyme 
Most of the time.” 

Then I turned and saw to my delight that there was a 
piece of cake alongside where the pie had been, and this I ate 
also, till every crumb was gone: 

Land’s sake, land’s sake. 

That’s awful good cake. 

Said I, “ This is indeed a very lucky day for me.” 

And being a very polite mouse, I thought I ought to 
thank someone for being so good to me. But no one was 
about. 

“Ah, ha,” thought I, “I have it. I’ll leave a note for them.” 

So I dipped my tail in the red juice that was left over on 
the plate from the Christmas-pie and taking my tail in hand, 
as you may say, I wrote on the tablecloth: 

T am a mouse 
In your house, 

I am a grateful chap. 

But I won’t eat 
The cheese and meat 
You put into a trap. 

Instead, I take 
Your pie and cake 
And, though I play you pranks. 
I’ll never fail, 

[ 38 ] 















THE MOUSE THAT RAN UP THE CLOCK 

While I’ve my tail, 

To write a word of thanks. 

But please be kind 
And try to find 
For us a nicer house, 

Or we must leave 
At once — believe 
Yours truly, 

Mr. Mouse.” 

Now, over in the corner of the room, there was a great 
grandfather’s clock — that stood up as high as the ceiling 
and a very beautiful clock it was indeed, and just as I had 
finished my letter and was looking about for a blotter, the 
chimes of the great grandfather’s clock began to ring. 


[ 39 ] 


CHAPTER TEN 


AND RAN DOWN AGAIN 

‘‘Well, well, well, of all things,” said I, “isn’t that beauti¬ 
ful?” and sitting down on my knees like a good little mouse, 
I listened till the chimes had stopped. 

“How lovely it would be,” thought I, “if we could live near 
a church and bring up the children in so refined a neighbor¬ 
hood,” and I got up and dusted my trousers. 

And then a wonderful thought struck me. 

“Why not kill two cats with the same stone?” thought I. 
“Why not live in a church that is so near to the dining room? 
In this way we could keep body and soul together as you may 
say.” 

So saying, I turned around, swung out my tail behind 
me and hurried back to tell the little wife all about it. 

When I reached the cellar and found Mrs. Mouse and 
six of the children in bed, as you may say, you may be sure 
my mind was made up. 

“Come, come, my love,” said I, “IVe found the most won¬ 
derful place to live in. It’s a church with beautiful music, 
and it’s in a beautiful neighborhood, with beautiful food and 
every convenience.” 

And when I had told them about the Christmas-pie and 
the cake and the soft carpet on the dining room floor where 
the children could play in their bare feet to their heart’s 
content without catching cold, I helped Mrs. Mouse to get up 
out of bed and dress the children and before you could say 
“Cheese” we were on our way, very carefully creeping along 
by the walls, ready to scatter, should the cat waylay us. 

[ 40 ] 


AND RAN DOWN AGAIN 


But the cat had been out late the night before, singing 
duets with a friend of hers on the back fence, and was so tired 
that she had to sleep all morning. 

And in due time, my wife and the children and I arrived 
in the dining room, and so we walked across the 
floor on the soft carpet, and when Mrs. Mouse 
saw the great grandfather’s clock, it looked so 
elegant to her that she could not believe 
that we were really to live in it. 

“It’s as wonderful as King Cole’s 
palace,” said my wife, tossing her 
head proudly, “and I hope the 
children will not disgrace us be¬ 
fore our new neighbors.” 

“Come, come,” said I, 
“the children are all right. 
No better children ever 
lived than ours.” 

So we walked into the 
clock by the basement door — as you may say — and looked 
about. 

“I must be high up, where the air is pure,” said the wife. 

“Nothing is too pure for you, my love,” said I, gallantly. 

So we climbed up the pendulum one by one till we reached 
a shelf at the top, but it was a hard climb and we were all 
out of breath. 

“It is cool and healthy here,” said Mrs. Mouse, when she 
could speak. 

“It’s light and airy, and a great improvement on that 
dingy cellar,” said I, still puffing, for I had eaten a hearty 
meal of Christmas-pie, as you may remember. 

“Already I see the roses coming back into our dear little 
children’s cheeks,” said Mrs. Mouse. 

[ 41 ] 



We walked across the floor on the soft carpet. 




KING KURIOSITY 



Mrs. Mouse, 
one of the springs, rock¬ 
ing herself hack and forth. 


By this time we were all seated, Mrs. Mouse, herself, 
in one of the springs, rocking herself back and forth as if she 
were in a rocking-chair and one of the chil¬ 
dren in her lap. 

‘‘This is very fine,” said she, stretch¬ 
ing herself cosily. 

And just then the clock struck one. 
“Hello,” said Mrs. Mouse to me. 
“There’s the door bell. Run down, my 
dear, like a good husband, and see who it 
is that may be calling upon us.” 

You will remember that I had just come 
up and was still out of breath. 

“Can’t we send one of the children I asked. 

“They’re too young,” said the wife, “besides, it might be 
the cat.” 

So, being a dutiful husband, I ran down the clock. 

But there was no one at the door, no matter which way 
I looked. 

So up the clock again, I ran, tired with all my running. 

“Well, and who was it?'' asked Mrs. Mouse, who at the 
moment was brushing baby Lullie’s hair. 

“It wasn’t any one as I could see,” said I as best I could 
without any breath. 

“That’s funny,” said Mrs. Mouse, with a mouthful of 
hairpins. 

“Maybe it is, and maybe it isn’t,” said I. “It’s as you look 
at it. But I don’t see any fun running up and down stairs. 
Never did. Besides it’s bad for my heart.” 

Just then the clock struck again. 

“There’s the door bell again, dearie,” said Mrs. Mouse. 

“I heard it,” said I, though I didn’t make a move to 
answer it. 


[ 42 ] 


AND RAN DOWN AGAIN 


‘'Well, why don’t you run down and see who it is?” said 
Mrs. Mouse, sweetly. 

I have always been proud to say that I never lose my 
temper. 

“If I run down that pendulum again,” said I, very quietly, 
“I won’t run up again.” 

Mrs. Mouse never spoke when she saw me angry. I’ll 
say that for her. So she waited a minute, then said ever so 
gently: 

“I didn’t find this house.” 

“I know you didn’t,” said I. “But I didn’t think the door 
bell was going to ring every minute. I think we had better 
go back to the cellar where there are no bells.” 

“Never!” said Mrs. Mouse. “The children must have light 
and air. Baby Lullie is improved already,” and she patted 
her hands affectionately. 

Well, I sat down to think. I knew my wife was right 
about its being good for the children, but I was sure I couldn’t 
run up and down stairs all day. But what was I to do? 

With that the clock struck again. 

This was too much, so I arose and, as the head of my 
family, addressed my wife with great politeness. 

I said to her: 

“You and the children, my love, can live up here and I’ll 
go back and live in the cellar where I can get some peace. 
And I’ll run out to see you and the children week-ends.” 

“Suit yourself,” said the Missus, “you men usually do any¬ 
how,” and that was the way of it. 

She lived with the children in the great grandfather’s 
clock for many and many a happy year, and I went back to 
the cellar, running out a Saturday till Monday morning, to 
spend with her and the children. 


[ 43 ] 


KING KURIOSITY 


“Your story has pleased me greatly/’ said King Kuriosity, 
“and I’m sure I’m obliged to you.” 

“You haven’t a bit of cheese about your person asked 
Mr. Mouse. 

“Not so much as a crumb,” said the King, sadly. 

“No harm done,” said Mr. Mouse. “The next time you 
pass this way, perhaps?” 

“I’ll bring a whole cheese,” said the King. 

“A long life to you,” said Mr. Mouse, bowing politely. 

“And nine short ones to all the cats in the world,” said 
King Kuriosity. 

And taking off his crown the King walked off, followed 
by Hutch. 

And as they walked along the road. Hutch was deep in 
thought. 

“A penny for your thoughts. Hutch,” said the King. 

“I was thinking how much mice are like men,” said Hutch. 

“Not all men,” said the King. 

“No, only some men,” said Hutch. 

And they walked along a little farther. 

“What’s that you’re saying to yourself?” asked King 
Kuriosity. 

And Hutch said: 

“Mice and men, men and mice 
Think they treat their families nice. 

When they only see them now and then. 

W^hat funny things are mice and men.” 


CHAPTER ELEVEN 


THE TEN O’CLOCK SCHOLAR 


Late one morning. King Kuriosity and Hutch were riding 
along the road on two of the King’s horses that couldn’t put 
Humpty Dumpty together again. The horses were very nice 



King Kuriosity and Hutch were riding along the road. 


horses just the same, and it wasn’t their fault really, if Humpty 
Dumpty couldn’t be put back in his shell. 

The King’s crown was perched high up on his head, and 
his wig was floating out in the warm summer breeze behind 
him like a flag, and Hutch was humming softly to himself. 

Then, Hutch stopped singing and said: 

“There’s something I have always wanted to know.” 

“And what’s that?” asked King Kuriosity. 

[ 45] 





KING KURIOSITY 


“Why all the King’s horses and all the King’s men couldn’t 
put Humpty Dumpty together again,” said Hutch. 

“That,” said one of the King’s horses who had heard 
them talking, “was because he was spilled out on the ground, 
and nothing in all the world could ever put him together 
again.” 

“I know what would have done it,” said Hutch. 

“What.^” asked the King’s horse. 

“A sponge,” said Hutch. 

At this the King’s horses got to giggling so they almost 
spilled Hutch and King Kuriosity off their backs. 

And when they had finished their laughter, one of the 
King’s horses said: 

“Speaking of Humpty Dumpty reminds me of a dorg I 
once knew who nearly had the same thing happen to ’im.” 

You see he was an English horse that had been a cab horse 
in London, and he talked what is called cockney. Not a 
Cock Horse, but a Cockney Horse. 

“And how did that happen to him whatever did happen 
to him?” asked King Kuriosity. 

“If you don’t mind sad stories,” said the King’s horse, 
“I’ll tell it to you.” 

“I’m sure we’d love to hear it,” said Hutch. 

“Very well, then,” said the horse. 



And when he had neighed 
once or twice to clear his throat, 
he began: 


“I knew a little dorg named 


Dan, 

A good dorg in his way. 
He were a faithful animal 


Like our old friend Dorg 


' 1 knew a little dorg named Dan.' 


Tray. 


[46] 





THE TEN O’CLOCK SCHOLAR 


He sat all day upon the street, 

You’d think that he could talk, 

But Dan he never said a word, 

’Cause he were made of chalk. 

“He wore a smile upon his face. 

Of course ’twas painted there. 

And great big spots of yeller paint 
That looked like yeller hair. 

He never barked, he never snapped. 

He never snarled, nor bit. 

And ’cause he never et raw meat. 

He never thro wed a fit. 

“One day a kind old lady passed. 

And Daniel looked so nice 

She bought him, ’cause she thought that he 

Would scare away her mice. 

She put him in the. pantry where 
The mice would sport and play. 

And then she locked the pantry up 
And lef’ Dan there all day. 

“She heard a lotta noise that night, 

And when the sun was up 
She dressed herself and 


To feed her darling pup. 


hurried down 



But Dan was nowhere to 
be seen. 


' The mice had et him up except 
A liV 'pile o’ dust. ’ ’ 


Her heart it nearly bust. 


The mice had et him up except 
A lil’ pile o’ dust.” 



KING KURIOSITY 


“That’s a pretty sad story,” said King Kuriosity, wiping 
the tears from off the end of his nose where they had trickled. 

“Life is sometimes a sad game to play,” said the horse. 

And pretty soon they came to a boy and he was walking 
along the road very slowly indeed. So Hutch and the King 
drew up their horses and asked the boy who he was. 

“I’m the Ten O’clock Scholar who used to come at ten 
o’clock, but who now comes at noon,” said he. 

“And what makes you go to school so late.^” asked King 
Kuriosity. 

“I’ll tell you,” said the Ten O’clock Scholar. “If every¬ 
body was on time there’d be too many people all at once, 
and the world would be lumpy. Everybody would be on the 
road at the same time and nobody could get anywhere.” 

“That’s a very strange idea,” said King Kuriosity. 

“But a very good one,” said the Ten O’clock Scholar. 

“I don’t see that at all,” said King Kuriosity. “Did you 
ever hear that it is the early bird that catches the worm.f^” 

“That’s all right for the early bird,” said the Ten O’clock 
Scholar. “But it’s pretty hard on the worm. Now if the 
worm had been late, he wouldn’t have been caught by the early 
bird, would he.^” 

The King thought for a while, then said: 

“Yes, he’d have been caught by a late bird.” 

Then it was the Ten O’clock Scholar’s turn to do a bit 
of thinking. 

“Yes, I suppose you’re right,” said he. “But after all 
worms are meant to be eaten by birds, early or late, that’s their 
meat.” 

“I see you’re a scholar,” said the King, “whether you’re 
early or late. Yes, worms are meant to be eaten by birds, 
and boys must go to school.” 

“And men must work,” said the Ten O’clock Scholar. 

[48] 


THE TEN O’CLOCK SCHOLAR 


‘'And horses must carry Kings,” said one of the King’s 
horses. 

“Everybody must do something,” said Hutch, “or nothing 
would ever be done.” 

“That’s just it,” said the Ten O’clock Scholar. “If worms 
have got to be eaten, the early birds would eat them all and 
get sick and early scholars would learn all the lessons and get 
headaches and the early workmen would do all the hard 
work and get all tired out, and by this time along would come 
the late birds and the late scholars, and the late workmen, 
and find all the work done and everything as nice as pie . . . 
nothing to do but have a good time ... all the worms eaten, 
all the lessons learned, and all the work done. Don’t you see 
that it is better to be a late bird or scholar or workman?” 

The King thought for a moment, then he said: 

“That’s all very well, but how about all the nice things to 
do?” 

“What nice things do you mean,” asked the Ten O’clock 
Scholar. 

“The rewards,” said King Kuriosity. “Playing and eating 
ice cream and all that. All the playthings would be used by 
the early boys, all the ice cream eaten by the early children, 
all the best beds would be slept in by the early sleepers 
and . . 

“I never thought of that,” said the Ten O’clock Scholar. 

“You’d better,” said King Kuriosity. 

“I will,” said the Ten O’clock Scholar, and he started 
off on a run for the schoolhouse. 

“I guess he won’t be late any more,” said Hutch, and he and 
King Kuriosity trotted their horses down the road. 


[49] 


CHAPTER TWELVE 


THE SPIDER AND MISS MUFFET 

Old King Kuriosity and Hutch were sitting up in bed one 
morning, waiting for their breakfast. Mother Goose always 
sent it up to them on two trays. Hutch would much rather 
have gone downstairs to eat his, like any other boy. But old 
King Kuriosity had royal habits, and so he had to have his 
breakfast brought up to his room. 

“You see,” said he to Hutch, “I don’t like to eat in bed. 
It gets crumbs on the sheets, and I don’t know anything more 
uncomfortable to sleep on than toast crumbs, except it’s 
thumbtacks — or broken glass. When I was a little boy 
prince, I had an idea that I would love to sleep in a bed of 
roses. Lots of poets write about such things. Did you ever 
sleep in a bed of roses. Hutch 

“No,” said Hutch, “I haven’t, but I think it would be 
perfectly lovely.” 

“No such thing,” said the King. “I did it and it took 
months to pull the thorns out. The trouble with most kings 
is that they have to put on a lot of style that isn’t comfortable. 
As a matter of fact crowns are not as soft on the head as a good 
felt hat. But once you’re a king you’ve got to wear a crown 
or your people wouldn’t know which was the king and which 
the village pump . . . and that’s really why I wear a crown. 
Then again crowns are uncomfortable for other people. 
Now I wouldn’t mind in the least if a fat lady sat on my 
soft felt hat, but think of her sitting on my crown. It hurts 
me to think how much it would hurt her.” 

“Rather,” said Hutch. 

“Well, that’s the way it is with kings,” said King Kurios- 
[ 50 ] 


THE SPIDER AND MISS MUEFET 


IGrodI blass 1 

Imo^Ksp Goosg, I 



In walked the Gander with two trays. 


‘And that’s why I have to have my breakfast in bed.” 

Just then there was a knock at the door and 
King Kuriosity called “Come in,” and in 
walked the Gander with the two trays. 

“Good morning to your Majesty,” said 
the Gander, “and here is your breakfast,” 
and he set the two trays on the bed and 
making a pretty courtesy he backed 
out of the room. 

“What are these.^^” asked 
Hutch, as he examined the 
food. 

“Curds and whey,” said King 
Kuriosity. 

“That’s the stuff Miss Muffet 
was eating when the spider frightened her away,” said Hutch. 
“And I am the very spider,” said a voice from the tray. 
And sure enough, out from under a plate, crawled Mr. 
Spider himself. 

“And how did you get here?’^ asked Hutch. 

“Well,” said the Spider, “I wanted to see King Kuriosity 
and I knew he couldn’t call on me, so here I am.” 

“I’m very glad you came,” said King Kuriosity. “I wish 
I could offer you a chair.” 

“I never sit,” said the Spider, “but if you will go on with 
your breakfast, I will tell you the story of my young life.” 

And as King Kuriosity and Hutch ate 
their curds and whey, the Spider told 
them the following story: 

“A Spider is the kind of lad 
Who, as a child, was just born bad. 

So bad indeed, he can’t be good. 

And couldn’t, even if he would.” 

[51] 



Spider is the hind of lad 
Who, as a child, was just born 
bad.’* 














KING KURIOSITY 


Here the Spider, as if ashamed of himself, brushed a tear 
from the corner of his eye and then began again: 

‘‘IVe often watched nice people act. 

But somehow I ain’t got the knack 
Like Little Boy Blue and Little Bo Peep 
And Mary Contrary and Baa Black Sheep.” 

Here the Spider brushed a tear from his other eye. 

‘‘You see even my rhyming is bad. I shouldn’t rhyme 
‘act’ and ‘knack.’ I shouldn’t use words like ‘ain’t.’ But I 
can’t seem to help it.” 

“Go on with your story,” said King Kuriosity. 

“Very well,” said the Spider. 

“I’ve even gone down on my knees to pray. 

But I can’t act in a decent way. 

Can I be good like sweet new cider 
Not at all, I’m a low-down Spider.” 

Here he brushed two tears that rolled down out of either 
eye. Then he said: 

“I didn’t want to frighten Miss Muffet, 

But I had a tummy and wanted to stuff it. 

And so when I saw the curds and whey, 

I frightened the poor little darling away. 

“As a matter of fact I tried 
to be nice. 

‘I’ll be good,’ said I, ‘at any 
price, 

No matter what happens, I 
won’t go wrong,’ 

That’s what I said as I 
crawled along. 

[ 52 ] 



As a matter of fact, I tried 
to he nice.'* 


THE SPIDER AND MISS MUFFET 


"‘Then something inside of me (maybe an elf), 

Shouted aloud in my ear, ‘Be yourself.’ 

And the first thing you knew, there’s no use 
to bluff it, 

I sat down and frightened Little Miss Muffet.” 

Here he paused long enough to dry the tears that by this 
time were rolling down his cheeks like a waterfall. 

“Now, I ask you, as Spider to King and boy, what am I 
to do but just go on in life doing the wrong thing? You don’t 
know how hard it is for me to have a bad heart. I’m just 
naturally no good.” 

Here he burst out crying as if his heart would break and 
Hutch and King Kuriosity were so sorry for him, as they 
listened to his sad, sad story, that they too began to cry into 
their curds and whey until it made a kind of porridge that 
wasn’t fit to eat. 

“Yours is a very sad story,” said old King Kuriosity, 
when he could swallow the lump of porridge that stuck in his 
throat, “and my friend Hutch and I are very sorry for you 
and we will help you all we can to become a better Spider.” 

And the Spider dried his eyes and said: 

“That’s very kind of you, to be sure. We spiders have 
very few friends indeed, and you don’t know how good 
it is for me to know that somewhere in the wide, wide world 
there is some one who pities me. I’ll try my best to be better. 
Indeed I will,” and he looked so good and kind that Hutch 
almost began to cry again. 

But just at that moment a poor little fly lit on the bed 
and the Spider who had been weaving his web all this time, 
made a leap and caught the fly around his middle and pulled 
it into the web in half a jiffy, and before Hutch and King 
Kuriosity could say “Boo,” the Spider wound himself down 

[53] 


KING KURIOSITY 


to the floor and was off without so much as a ‘‘Goodbye, 
I’m much obliged to have met you,” or anything else. 

“Did you ever,” said Hutch, “after all that talk about 
trying to be good.^” 

But old King Kuriosity only shook his head. 

“You can’t make a bad egg good,” said he. “But don’t 
let us be too hard on him. It really isn’t his fault. He was 
born bad and he’ll never be anything else. He’s just a Spider 
and he’ll never be any better.” 


[54] 




CHAPTER THIRTEEN 
LITTLE TOMMY GREEN 


One day King Kuriosity and Hutch were starting out for 
their afternoon wall^. But before they had time to step off 
the porch of Mother Goose’s cottage they heard a great 
barking, and who should come scampering by but Tommy 
Tucker’s dog: “Bow Wow Wow” and he was as frightened 
as a dog could be. 

“Oh, look,” cried Hutch. “There goes Tommy Tucker’s 
dog, and someone’s tied a tin can to his tail,” 
and just as he and King Kuriosity stepped off 
the stoop a boy came running helter 
skelter around the corner, and 
he was running so fast he 
couldn’t stop himself in time, 
but bumped right into old King Kuri¬ 
osity and Hutch and all three of them 
went sprawling into the road together. 

Hutch and little Tommy Green — 
boy who had run so fast around the corner, were upon their 
feet in a jiffy and had to help old King Kuriosity up on his. 

“My wig, — where’s my wig.^” cried the King, covering his 
bald head with both hands. 

“Here it is,” said Hutch, dusting it off and handing it to 
the King. 

“And here’s your crown, too, sir,” said Tommy Green. 

“Well, well, well,” said the King, putting on his wig and 
crown, “and who are you to come knocking people about like 
a lot of ten pins.^^” 



He was as frightened as a dog 
could he 

■for that was the little 


[ 55 ] 


KING KURIOSITY 


‘‘I’m little Tommy Green,” said the boy taking off his 
cap, "‘and I’m sorry for bumping you over.” 

Then he turned to Hutch and said quite roughly: “Why 
don’t you get out of the way?” 

“No, no,” said the King, “Tommy, you must watch where 
you are going, never run fast around corners. You can never 
tell what’s on the other side of anything.” 

And he would have let Tommy Green go, but suddenly 
thought of Tommy Tucker’s dog, “Bow Wow Wow.” 

“By my w^hiskers,” said he, “I’ll bet my wig it was you 
who tied the tin can to that poor dog’s tail.” 

“Yes, it was,” said Tommy Green, with a grin on his face. 

“And if I remember rightly,” said old King Kuriosity, “it 
was also you who put poor pussy down the well.” 

“Right again,” said Tommy Green, as proudly as if he 
had won first prize in spelling. 

“But why said the King. “Why do you do such things.^” 

And little Tommy Green sat down and put his finger on 
his forehead and began to think. 

“I don’t know why,” said he, “I guess it’s just to be mis¬ 
chievous.” 

“But why must you be mischievous?” asked the King. 

“Oh, a fellow can’t always be a goody, goody,” said 
Tommy. “All the rest of the fellows would call him "Mother’s 
pet’ or "Sissy.’ ” 

“I guess you’re right about that,” said old King Kuri¬ 
osity. “But isn’t there some way of being a good boy without 
being a Sissy? It’s so long since I was a boy I’ve forgotten. 
Can you tell us. Hutch?” 

“Well,” said Hutch in his quiet way, “since you ask me. 
I’ll tell you what I think. What Tommy Green says about 
boys getting into mischief is perfectly right. No boy is a real 
boy unless he does get into mischief once in a while. But if 

[56] 


LITTLE TOMMY GREEN 


Tommy Green will pardon my saying so, I don’t think he 
understands the difference between being mischievous and 
playing mean tricks. 

“Just as soon as a thing becomes cowardly or harmful to 
others it is no longer mischief, but just mean. Tommy Green, 
when you put Poor Pussy down the well, it was cowardly 
even though you didn’t know it, for you are much stronger 
than Poor Pussy, and besides it was harmful, because if little 
Johnnie Stout hadn’t pulled her out not only would Poor 
Pussy have been drowned, but it would have spoiled the 
farmer’s well water and nobody would have been able to 
drink it.” 

Old King Kuriosity stroked his beard, straightened his 
wig and nodded his head very wisely. 

“I guess you’re right,” said Tommy Green and he untied 
the can from Bow Wow Wow’s tail and Bow Wow Wow’s 
smile thanked Tommy Green. 

“I feel a lot better now that the can is off,” said Bow 
Wow Wow. 

“Did the can hurt.^” asked King Kuriosity. 

“No, it isn’t that,” said Bow Wow Wow. “It isn’t the 
can that hurts. It’s the shame of it. Everybody and every 
animal laughs at you if you have a can tied to your tail, and 
nobody likes to be laughed at. It’s like a hole in your trousers 
or a challi mark on your back. I remember a dog friend of 
mine that died because all his animal friends laughed at him.” 

“Tell us about it,” said Hutch. 

“Very well, I will,” said Bow Wow Wow. 

“A rubber dog once fell in love 
With a china cat that sat above. 

Upon a shelf above the door 
Of a little toy and candy store. 

And there the dog blinked rubber eyes, 

[ 57 ] 


KING KURIOSITY 


And sighed his gutta percha sighs, 
While the cat looked down 
With a crockery stare 
And a porcelain smile 
That was passing fair. 

And all the animals round about 
At once began to laugh and shout. 
‘Baa Baa Baaa,’ said the woolly Sheep. 
‘Tweet, Tweet, Tweet,’ sung thejbird. 





















LITTLE TOMMY GREEN 


‘Maa, Maa, Maa/ said the Kid. 

‘Hoot, hoot,’ howled the owl, 

‘I’m a wise old fowl. 

But a rubber dog and a china cat 
I never have heard to go on like that. 

Hoot, hoot, I’m blessed if I did.’ ” 

“Well, that’s too bad,” said King Kuriosity, who was 
almost in tears for the poor rubber dog. “We really shouldn’t 
laugh at other people who are in trouble.” 

“That’s just it,” said Hutch, “the worst of it is being 
laughed at.” 

“I’ll try to remember,” said little Tommy Green. “And 
I promise I won’t ever tie a tin can on a dog’s tail again as 
long as I live or throw a pussy cat down a well.” 

And he and Bow Wow Wow trotted down the road the 
very best of friends. 


CHAPTER FOURTEEN 


OLD KING COLE 

One day King Kuriosity got a letter. It was a great big 
beautiful letter with red seals posted all over it, and red 
ribbons dangling down as gay as a pair of old suspenders. 

“Ha, ha,” said King Kuriosity. “Some very important 
person has written to me.” 

“How do you know that.^” asked Hutch. 

“Important people,” said King Kuriosity, “always like 
to look important. They wear important-looking clothes and 
put on important airs.” 

“And wear crowns,” said Hutch, slyly. 

“Yes,” said King Kuriosity, “and when they write letters 
they paste seals on them. Now who, do you think, wrote this 
letter to me?'' 

“A king,” said Hutch. 

“Right,” said King Kuriosity. “Kings think they are 
more important than anybody else.” 

And he opened the letter, and sure enough it was from 
King Cole and he read it to Hutch. 

“To King Kuriosity — 

“My dear Majesty: I’d like very much for you and Hutch 
to dine with me at half past three. 

“Yours truly. King Cole, 

“A Merry Old Soul.” 

“Shall we go.^^” asked Hutch. 

“We must,” said King Kuriosity. “For when a king asks 
you to do a thing, you’ve got to do it because kings must 

[ 60 ] 


OLD KING COLE 


always be obeyed. Besides, I’d like to see King Cole. There 
are a lot of questions I want to ask him.” 

So it was settled that they would go, and after they were 
dressed in their best they flew over to the palace of King Cole 
in King Kuriosity’s wheelbarrow airplane. 

And they sat down to a delicious dinner of chocolate, 
vanilla, and strawberry ice cream. 

And when dinner v^as over. King Cole called for his pipe 
and his bowl, and his fiddlers three, and while King Cole 
smoked his pipe and the three fiddlers fiddled. King Cole and 
King Kuriosity drank from the bowl. 

And Hutch, who didn’t smoke or drink, fell asleep. 

And pretty soon the two kings got to arguing about which 
was better: To play or to work all day. And they had a hard 
time of it between them. 

King Cole thought it was right to play and to do nothing 
else. 

“Life was made to be merry in,” said he. 

And King Kuriosity thought just the other way. 

“I tell you,” said King Cole, “you’re wrong and to prove 
it to you I’ll tell you a story. Did you ever hear of the spider 
and the frog.^^ ” 

“No,” said King Kuriosity. 

“Well,” said King Cole, “I’ll tell it to you. 

“A spider named Ida 
Worked all night and day. 

Because she believed 
It was wicked to play. 

“She wove a nice web. 

And she caught lots of flies. 

And she baked them at once 
Into puddings and pies. 

[ 61 ] 


KING KURIOSITY 


“ ‘I like to have food 
For the winter/ she said, 

‘When nice little, fat little 
Flies are all dead/ 

“Now old Mr. Frog 
Had been playing all summer. 

Working no harder 
Than any young plumber. 

“ T don’t like to work,’ 

Grumbled he. Tf you please, 

I’m the kind of a fellow 
That lives at his ease.’ 

“And then when the summer 
Gave way to the fall 
He swallowed the spider. 

Pies, puddings and all. 

“You see,” said old King Cole, “if you only let other 
people work for you you won’t have to do any of it yourself. 
There are lots of people who like to work. Well, what I say 
is: Let ’em do it. Then all you’ve got to do is to come along 
like the frog and sit pretty.” 

“That’s a funny way to look at things,” said King Kuri- 
osity. “And I don’t think it’s a good plan. Sometimes you 
may get left. What would the frog have done if the spider 
hadn’t looked out for the winter?” 

“But somebody always will,” said King Cole, laughing 
merrily. 

“I don’t think so,” said King Kuriosity. “Did you ever • 
hear the story of the katydid and the silkworm?” 

[ 62 ] 


OLD KING COLE 


‘‘No,” said King Cole. “Tell it to me if you please.” 

And King Kuriosity told him the following story: 

“A katydid sat in the shade of a willow, 

Resting her head on a sweet clover pillow. 

‘Katy did, Katy didn’t,’ she sang 
from her clover 

The same silly serenade over and over. 

“She sang when the crickets and bull 
frogs would let her. 

The poor stupid thing didn’t know 
any better. 

For none of her friends in the mead¬ 
ows had told her 

That winter was coming when nights 
would be colder. 

“And sad to relate when the winter came, freezing. 

Miss Katydid caught a bad cold and her sneezing 
Was all of the song that she sang ’neath the willow. 

She died, so she did, on a snowy white pillow. 

“Now, the Silkworm, though only a worm, was more prudent. 
She was a fine architectural student. 

And built her a mansion all woven together 

Which did her quite snugly all through the cold winter. 

“Now you see, it doesn’t do to play all the time,” said 
King Kuriosity. 

“Your story is no better than mine,” said King Cole. 

And the two kings sat and looked at each other and 
neither one of them could tell which was right. 

[ 63 ] 



Katy did, Katy didn’t* she 
sang from her clover." 



KING KURIOSITY 


But at that moment, Hutch who was only napping, and 
had heard both their stories, got out of his chair and came oyer 
to them. 

“Would you like to know which of you is wrong.^” he said. 

“We would,” said they. 

“Both of you are wrong,” said Hutch. 

“Why?” asked the two kings. 

“The spider was wrong,” said Hutch, “because he was 
a miser, and took more than he could use, and the frog came 
along and punished him. The frog was wrong because he 
was a thief and stole the spider’s flies. 

“The katydid was silly because she didn’t see any farther 
than the end of her nose. The silkworm was wrong because 
she didn’t get any pleasure out of life, only work, work, work.” 

“I suppose,” said King Cole, “there isn’t anybody who is 
just right all the time.” 

“Yes, there is,” said Hutch. 

“Then tell us what is the right way to live?” they asked. 

“Did you ever hear the story of the paragon?” said Hutch. 

“No,” said the two kings, “What is a paragon?” 

“Well, I’ll tell you about him,” said Hutch. 

“The paragon (though it sounds absurd) 

Isn’t an animal, fish or bird. 

But rather a mixture of all the three 
And perfect as anything ever can be. 

“His manners are lovely, he’s always polite. 

He brushes his teeth both morning and night. 

His face and back of his ears are clean. 

He never was known to do anything mean. 

“He never is selfish, but shares his toys. 

As nice little boys do with other nice boys. 

[ 64 ] 


OLD KING COLE 


He never tracks mud on the carpet or 
rugs, 

Nor fills up the minister’s pockets with 
bugs. 

“He’s smart with his lessons, the head of his 
school. 

Prompt and obedient to every rule. 

He does all his duties without a complaint, 

In a nutshell a paragon’s just a young saint.” 

“You mean to say there is such a thing as a paragon.^^” 
asked King Cole. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen one,” said King Kuriosity. 

“Where does he come from.f^” asked King Cole. 

“I don’t know,” said Hutch. 

“Then how is it you know so much about him,” asked 
King Cole. 

“My mother always speaks about him when I make 
mistakes. She wants me to be like him. She says that if you 
want to be happy you’ve got to be kind to other people. She 
says that’s the only way.” 

“Well, maybe she’s right,” said King Cole. 

“Maybe she is,” said King Kuriosity. 

“Mothers are always right,” said Hutch. 




[ 65 ] 




CHAPTER FIFTEEN 


THIS LITTLE PIG 

“Let’s go see the Pig That Went to Market,” said King 
Kuriosity to Hutch one day, “and ask him why he went there.” 

“All right,” said Hutch. 

So off they started and came to the pig’s house, which is 
called a sty. 

And there were a lot of pigs grunting around. 

King Kuriosity walked up to 
nd taking off his crown, asked 

wonder if you could tell me 
where I might find the Pig 
That Went to Market 
And the pigs stopped 
— grunting long enough for 
one of them to say: 

“I am the Pig That Went to Market, your Highness.” 

“Well, well, well,” said King Kuriosity. “I am pleased 
to meet you, and this is my friend. Hutch.” 

So Hutch shook hands, as you might say, with the Pig. 

“And now,” said King Kuriosity, “I’d like you to tell us 
why you went to market.^” 

“I’ll be pleased to do so,” said the Pig. “But first come 
in and have a bite to eat. We are just sitting down to dinner.” 

King Kuriosity and Hutch looked at each other and then 
at the Pig’s dinner. 

“No, thank you,” said they, “we have just had our dinner.” 

[66] 




THIS LITTLE PIG 


“I’m sorry,” said the Pig. “But if you don’t mind waiting 
till I’m through. You see it’s this way with pigs: if you don’t 
eat while the food is on the ground, and as quickly as you 
can, there won’t be any to eat in a few minutes.” 

And he went back to his dinner and it’s good he did, for it 
was almost gone in the minute he had taken to talk to them. 

And when he had finished he asked them what they wanted. 

“We’d like to know why you went to the market, and what 
you did when you got there,” said King Kuriosity. 

“I’ll be delighted to tell you,” said the Pig. “If you’ll be 
good enough to sit upon the side of the sty. I’ll tell you.” 

So King Kuriosity and Hutch sat on a rail of the fence 
and the Pig began: 

“I remember, once upon a time, when I was a young 
and foolish pig, my grandfather told me about a pig who 
had a long, thin dainty tail. A dandy pig he was, and very 
proud of his beautiful long tail. He was the swell of the 
neighborhood. Everybody admired him, sent him fiowers, 
and he lived on peaches and cream and strawberries 
that his admirers sent him. 

Well, I got to thinking that if I had 
a beautiful tail maybe I, too, would be ad- 
I mired and live on strawberries and what not. 

^ And the more I thought of 

^ it the more I hated the little 

-<r-J ^curly tail I had. What I wanted 

^^What I wanted was a veacock stall" ^ peaCOck’s tail, for with 

as beautiful a tail as that I would be the handsomest pig 
in the world.” 

“That’s vanity,” said the King, putting his golden crown 
a little farther back on his head, and looking to see its effect 
in a little mirror he took from his pocket. 

[67] 




KING KURIOSITY 


“Exactly,” said the Pig, “and I learned that vanity often 
leads one into trouble.” 

“So it does,” said the King, still admiring himself in the 
little mirror. “Look out. Hutch,” said he, “never become 
vain, for, as our good friend here tells you, it often leads to 
trouble.” 

“I won’t,” said Hutch, smiling to himself as he saw King 
Kuriosity so pleased with himself. 


Then the Pig went on with his story. “Well, I wasn’t 
satisfied with my own tail, and that is the main point. 
That’s what got me in trouble. 

That was long before the squirrel’s tail was bushy or the 
possum’s tail was bare, or the rabbit’s tail was only the 
little bit of a pen-wiper of a tail it is today. 

‘Well,’ said I to myself, said I: ‘I’ll go to the market, and 
there I’ll be able to change my tail for a peacock’s or some¬ 
thing a little more stylish than my own.’ 

So I dressed myself up in my best — a little Norfolk 
jacket and knickerbockers, I think it was, with a white collar 
and a red necktie and a pair of silver-buckled shoes and a 
gold-headed cane and a high silk hat my father 
wore when he was married to my mother. 

And when I was dressed to please myself, 
I left the house and away I walked down the 
road, swinging my cane like a fine gentleman 
with a purse of gold in each of my pockets, 
till I came to the nearest town and there in 
the middle of it was a market. 

Well, for a long time I stood in the 
market, for I didn’t know how to get a tail 
any more than I knew how to wash the face of the moon. 

‘Wherever shall I get a tail,’ said I to myself. But the 

[ 68 ] 



I walked down the 
road, swinging my 
cane. 



THIS LITTLE PIG 


more I thought of it the more puzzled I grew till night came and 
I crawled into a wagon, took off my hat, and went to sleep. 

Early in the morning, I was awakened by the cackle of a 
hen and, rousing myself, I sat up on one elbow and looked 
about me. There was the hen sitting on the edge of my hat, 
clucking away at the top of her voice. 

Well, you may be sure that I was angry at the way the 
hen treated my hat. So, jumping to my feet, I shooed the hen 
away with my gold-headed cane, and, picking up the hat 
discovered that the hen had laid a nice fresh egg in it. 

‘Ah, ha,’ said I, ‘there’s good in everything if you can 
but see it. Here’s my breakfast all ready for me,’ and, cracking 
the egg, I ate it and, putting on my hat, I jumped to the 
ground and walked to the market to see if I might find the 
kind of a tail I wanted. Well, I saw lots of tails, some on birds 
and some on lambs and cows and what not, but no peacock 
tail could I see anywhere. 

Presently I saw a horse standing close by and he had 
almost no tail at all. 

‘I wonder where the rest of his tail can be.^’ said I to 
myself. ‘I believe I’ll go ask him where he lost it.’ 

So I walked up to the horse ai 
asked him. 



‘My master had it cut off the 
other day because he said it was 
always getting caught in the har¬ 
ness or trailing in the mud and he _ 


couldn’t be bothered,’ said the I walked up to the horse and asked 


horse. 

‘And what became of the rest of it?’ I asked him. 

‘That I don’t know,’ said the horse, ‘for it was cut off at the 
doctor’s and I didn’t see.’ 

‘Do doctors cut off animals’ tails?’ said I. 


[69] 




KING KURIOSITY 


‘Oh, yes,’ said the horse. 

‘Do you remember where the doctor lives I asked, 
for I had an idea that I might go there and see if I could 
get a peacock tail for myself. 

‘No,’ said the horse, ‘my memory is not so good. I 
only remember my meal times.’ 

Well I got nothing out of that. But it did set me to think¬ 
ing: ‘If I could only be a doctor,’ I thought. ‘Maybe I might 
get a peacock’s tail that way.’ 


[70] 


CHAPTER SIXTEEN 


GOES TO MARKET 

So I went to the market again and there I rented a little 
office and nailed a sign on the door, and on the sign I painted: 

DR. THOMAS J. PIG, ESQUIRE 
Tails Cut Off While You Wait 
Painless 

Office hours from 3 to 1. 

Well, I had no more than nailed the sign on the door 
when along came a squirrel, hopping down the road, and 
said I to myself: ‘A squirrel’s tail is not what I want, but I’ll 
have to fix it for him, I suppose, if he wants me to.’ 

Well, in came the squirrel, and it seems that he had 
been poking his nose into a trap which some cruel boys had 
set in the woods, and the first thing you know had caught 
his tail and I suppose when he saw my sign, said he to himself, 
said he: 

T’ll see if Dr. Thomas J. Pig can cure me.’ 

So he walked up to the door and knocked and I said: 

‘Come in,’ and in came the squirrel and he was just 
about to sit down when he remembered what he came for. 

‘Doctor,’ said he, ‘I caught my tail in a trap and I’d like 
you to take a look at it and fix it for me if you can.’ 

Well, I put on my specs and looked at the tail and then 
got out my scissors and things and tried my best to fix it. 
But I wasn’t a doctor at all, as you well know, only I had to 
make the squirrel think I was, do you see, so I cut and I 
squeezed and I fussed and I pulled, and before I got through 

[71] 


KING KURIOSITY 


with that squirrel, none of his friends would have known him. 
His tail was puffed up and swollen and it’s never been any 
different to this day. 

You may be sure that the squirrel was angry, what with 
the pain and the look of his tail and, when he was able to 
speak, he was furious. He said that he would go home and 
tell his people about it and away he went as angry as can be. 

Well, no sooner had he gone when a possum came limp¬ 
ing down the road and he had caught his tail in the fork of a 
tree and it hurt him so much that he thought, when he saw my 
sign, that he would have it fixed. So he knocked on the door 
and when I called to him to come in, in he came. 

Well, I got out my saw and my gimlet and a hammer and 
got to cutting at it and pulling the fur away and the first 
thing you know, that possum’s tail looked as if the rats had 
been playing tag with it. 

So, when the possum looked at his tail that was once 
so beautiful and saw that it was as ugly as a stick, he was 
furious and no mistake. 

‘I’ll tell my parents about you,’ he cried, ‘and they’ll 
come down here and fix your tail for you,’ and he stamped 
out of the office and away up the road as mad 
as a wet hen. 

Well, he had no more than turned the corner 
and I had put on my specs to read the 
morning paper, when a rabbit 
^ <s> bounded down the road. 

This rabbit had his tail stung by 
a bee, and when he saw my sign he 
was very well pleased in spite of 
the pain in his tail, and he must 
have said to himself: ‘I’ll hop in and have the doctor take a 
look at it.” 



A rabbit bounded down the road. 


GOES TO MARKET 


And he knocked on the door as the squirrel and the 
possum had done before him and when I let him into the office, 
he told me what had happened to his tail: 

TVe hurt my tail as you may see, 

Thanks to the naughty little bee, 

That grasps each opportunity.’ 

He was a merry little rabbit you see and had quite a talent 
for making rhymes, as most of us here in Mother Goose land do. 

‘Well, well, well,’ said I, T’ll see what can be done for 
you. Come here,’ and as the rabbit came to me I thought, 
Tt’s funny I can’t get a peacock’s tail. Nothing but squirrels, 
and possums and rabbits. This isn’t my lucky day.’ 


[73] 


CHAPTER SEVENTEEN 


AND COMES HOME AGAIN 

And it wasn’t, as you shall presently see. 

Well, there was nothing for me to do but to go on with 
the work, so I began to cut away at the rabbit’s tail like a 
child with a cut-out page or a paper doll, and little by little 
the tail became shorter and shorter till there wasn’t any left 
of it at all, at all. 

Well, if the squirrel and the possum were mad, you should 
have seen that rabbit when he saw what I had done to his 
tail: 

‘You’ll hear from my folks this very day,’ he shouted, 
and off he bounded out of the office like a shot and was off 
down the road three or four jumps at a time. 

Now, I didn’t really think the squirrel or the possum or 
the rabbit really meant what they had said about telling 
their folks. You know how it is with most people. They like 
to talk a lot when they are angry, but when it comes right 
down to it they cool off and do no such thing. 

But there’s where I was all wrong. For when the squir¬ 
rel’s father and mother, uncles and aunts; and the possum’s 
father and mother, uncles and aunts; and the rabbit’s enor¬ 
mous family had heard what had happened to their children’s 
tails they must have been pretty much wrought up. 

‘Who is this Dr. Thomas J. Pig, Esquire, I’d like to 
know, and what does he mean by treating our children’s 
tails in this outlandish fashionthey must have said, for all 
three fathers clapped on their hats and all three mothers 

[74] 


AND COMES HOME AGAIN 


caught up their umbrellas and all their uncles caught up their 
walking sticks and all their aunts caught up their parasols, 
and away they all came down the road together in great 
anger. 

Of course, I didn’t know what was going on till I happened 
to look out the window and saw them. They made a great 
crowd of themselves and waved their hats and their walking 
sticks and their umbrellas and their parasols and called on me 
to come out so they might teach me a lesson. 

But as I remember, I didn’t want to learn a lesson. No, 
not me. I thought I knew enough. 

Be that as it may, I did know enough to slip quietly out the 
back door and run off as quickly as my short legs would 
carry me. 

But I wasn’t fast enough, for when the squirrels and the 
possums and the rabbits heard me 
grunting up the hill, they all put after 
me at the top of their speed, and when 
they^had caught me they beat me with 
their hats and walking canes and um¬ 
brellas and parasols, but what was very 
much worse, each of the 
fathers and mothers and 
uncles and aunts of each 
of the squirrels and pos¬ 
sums and rabbits took hold 
of my tail and gave it a 
twist till it was all curled up as tight as a watch spring, the 
way you see it today. 



They all puf after me at the top 
of their speed. 


‘And that’s why I went to market. And that’s what I 
got for my vanity,’ ” said Thomas Pig, Esquire, “And that’s 
why I’ve never gone since then and never will again until I 

[75] 


KING KURIOSITY 


go to the butcher’s to be sold for bacon and ham and pork 
and pig’s feet.” 

“Well, well,” said Hutch, “it’s a very interesting story.” 

“And one with a very good lesson for every one of us,” 
said King Kuriosity, “only the trouble with most of us is 
that we think the lesson is for everyone but ourselves.” 

And he took out his mirror again and looked at himself in 
it: “Do you know,” said he, “I think I’d look a lot better if 
my hair were red.” And Thomas J. Pig, Esquire, and Hutch 
looked at each other slyly, out of the corner of their eyes. 

“Yes, sir,” said old King Kuriosity, putting away his 
mirror. “A very nice story, Mr. Pig, and a very good lesson in 
it for everybody. Even Hutch, here, if he’ll only see it.” 

So saying, old King Kuriosity turned on his heel and was 
about to walk away. 

“You don’t happen to have a dish of strawberries and 
cream in your pocket, have you.^^” said Tom Pig. 

“Not a strawberry,” said old King Kuriosity. 

“No harm done,” said Tom. “Maybe the next time you 
pass. . . .” 

“I’ll buy you a ton of them,” said old King Kuriosity. 

“A long life to you,” said Thomas J. Pig, Esquire. 

“And a short one to all butchers,” said old King Kuriosity, 
and with that he and Hutch walked off. 


[76] 


CHAPTER EIGHTEEN 
THREE WISE MEN 


One day, as King Kuriosity and Hutch were walking, 
they wandered down to the beach and there was a great ocean 
spread out before them. 

And on the beach stood a funny-looking little house, and 
it was very old and almost falling apart. 

And on the doorstep sat three old men and they were as 
old as the house, and almost as rickety. 

Their hair was long and white and their beards reached 
down about to their feet. They were looking 
out to sea, and they were in deep thought, 
their elbows resting on their knees, and their 
first fingers pointing to their foreheads. 

"‘Well, well,” said Hutch, “there’s 
no use asking who these three men are. 

It is too easy to guess that they are 
the Three Wise Men of Got 

“That’s what I think, 
said King Kuriosity. 

“I’ve always wanted to 
why they went to sea in a bowl,” thought. 

said Hutch. “Shall we ask them V 

“Yes, indeed,” said King Kuriosity. 

“It seems to me that it’s a silly thing to go to sea in a 
bowl, when they might just as well have gone in a boat or a 
barrel or on a raft,” said Hutch. 

“Wouldn’t you think they’d have been wise enough to 
know that a bowl would crack.?” asked King Kuriosity. 

[77] 











KING KURIOSITY 


“I don’t think they are so wise after all,” said Hutch. 

“But let’s go ask them,” said King Kuriosity. 

So they walked along the beach till they came to the 
little house where the Three Wise Men were sitting. 

And when they had reached the Three Wise Men, King 
Kuriosity said: 

“Good morning, and are you the Three Wise Men of 
Gotham.^” 

“Yes,” said the first man. 

“We,” said the second. 

“Are,” said the third. 

“Why do you speak one after another like that.^” asked 
Hutch, who was surprised they didn’t all speak together. 

“To,” said the first wise man. 

“Save,” said the second. 

“Time,” said the third. 

“I see,” said Hutch. “You are so wise that you save 
your words.” 

And the Three Wise Men nodded one after another. 

“These men are very wise,” said King Kuriosity. “People 
all talk too much. That’s what makes talk cheap. Pearls 
and diamonds are precious stones because there are so few 
of them. Nobody wants pebbles because there are so many 
of them.” 

And the Three Wise Men nodded. 

“We would like very much, if you could spare the time,” 
said King Kuriosity, “to tell us why you went to sea in a bowl.” 

“So,” said the first wise man. 

“We,” said the second. 

“Will,” said the third. 

“But,” said Hutch, “I wish you wouldn’t talk one after 
another that way. My neck hurts looking from one to an¬ 
other. Can’t one of you do all the talking?” 

[78] 


THREE WISE MEN 


‘Wes/’ said the Three Wise Men all together. “We will 
all talk together.” 

“But first I would like to know how you became so wise.” 
said Hutch. 

“We will tell you,” said the Three Wise Men. “To begin 
with, we are triplets. And when we were born our mother, who 
wanted us to be the wisest men in the world, put us to bed in 
a tree. She slung a hammock in its branches. And in that 
tree lived an owl, who is, as you well know, the wisest of birds. 
And there we went to school, as you may say, or rather we 
went to school in the daytime and at night we went to night 
school with the old owl as our teacher. That’s really why we 
are so old. You see we never really went to sleep. So we 
have lived twice as long as anybody else.” 

“I see,” said Hutch. 

“Would you like to know why the owl is the wisest bird 
in the world.?” asked the Three Wise Men. 

“Indeed, we would,” said King Kuriosity. 

“Well, we will tell you,” said the Three Wise Men. “It’s 
because he does a lot of thinking. You take a look at all the 
other birds and what do you see them doing.?” 

“They sing,” said Hutch. 

“You may say they do,” said the Three Wise Men. “They 
sing and blessed little else they do, while they might just as 
well be thinking.” 

“But,” said Hutch, “singing does a great deal of good. 
It makes people happy for one thing.” 

“So it does. So it does,” said the Three Wise Men. “But 
think of the time it takes to do all their singing. Do you know 
how many birds there are in the world.?” 

“No, I don’t,” said Hutch. 

“Nor I,” said King Kuriosity. 

“Well, we’ll tell you,” said the Three Wise Men. “There 
[ 79 ] 


KING KURIOSITY 


are so many of them that even we, who can count up to a 
billion times a trillion, lost count of them and had to give it 
up. So when you come to count all these birds and count all 
their songs all day long and some of them all night long, 
there isn’t paper enough in the world to jot it all down. But 
what we’re telling you is that with the exception of a few hoots 
in the night, the owl doesn’t waste any time singing, but 
goes right on thinking, and that’s what makes him so 
smart.” 

“I see,” said Hutch. 

“Did you ever hear the story of the owl and the mocking 
bird.f^” asked the Three Wise Men. 

“No,” said Hutch and King Kuriosity, who had got the 
habit of talking both together from the Three Wise Men. 

“Well, if you don’t mind,” said The Three Wise Men,“we 
will tell it to you.” 

“Go ahead,” said Hutch and King Kuriosity. 

And the Three Wise Men began: 

“On the branch of a tree sat a gay mocking bird 
And he could mock anything he ever heard. 

From the squeal of a rat 
To the meow of a cat. 

He could imitate anything sane or absurd. 

“He could cry like a baby or cluck like a hen. 

He could grunt like a couple of pigs in a pen. 

He could bark like a dog. 

Or croak like a frog. 

He could bray like a jackass or tweet like a wren. 

“On a neighboring branch in the very same tree 
Lived a very old owl who was wise as could be. 

But although he was cute, 

[80] 


THREE WISE MEN 


He could only say: ‘Hoot,’ 

Which wasn’t amusing, between you and me. 

“And most of the daytime and all of the night 
He tried and he practiced with all of his might 
To moo like a cow. 

But he didn’t know how. 

For the noise that came out of him never was right. 

“And the end of it was that in spite of his pride. 

He only could hoot, though he tried and he tried. 

Which he thought a disgrace 
That an owl couldn’t face. 

So he strung himself up by the neck till he died.” 

And when they had finished telling their story they 
turned to Hutch and King Kuriosity and said: 

“You see, with all its smartness, the owl is not very 
happy. It doesn’t pay to be too smart, for it isn’t the smartest 
people who are the best off in the world.” 

“I see,” said King Kuriosity and Hutch. 

“It all comes of wanting to be something you aren’t,” 
said the Three Wise Men brushing three tears away with the 
ends of their beards. “And that’s the very thing that happened 
to us.” 

“What happened to you.^” asked King Kuriosity and 
Hutch. 

“We will tell you,” said the Three Wise Men, “and maybe 
it will be a lesson to you.” 

“What’s it about?” asked King Kuriosity and Hutch. 

“It’s the story of why we went to sea in a bowl,” said 
the Three Wise Men, “and it goes like this.” 


[81] 


CHAPTER NINETEEN 


GO TO SEA IN A BOWL 

Well, to begin with, said the Three Wise Men, you 
must know that although we are very, very wise, we are also 
very, very poor. 

We live in this poor little house and often we have very little 
to eat. But our greatest wish always was to see the world. 
We had never seen Italy or Spain. We wanted to climb 
the mountains and sail the oceans and see all the wonderful 
countries, for all we knew we had learned from books and our 
old teacher, the owl. 

So one fine day said we to ourselves, “Let’s go to sea.” 

“How’ll we go.^” we asked. 

“In a bowl,” we answered, for we didn’t have the money to 

buy a boat. So we got a bowl 
from the kitchen and we car¬ 
ried it down to the seashore 
and we put it into the water 
and we got into it and we 
paddled away with a spoon 
which we took for an oar. 

And the sea was smooth 
and we were very happy. 

“Now we’ll see the world 
we know so much about,” 
said we to ourselves. 

But soon clouds appeared in the sky and it began to storm 
and blow and rain and thunder and lighten, and the bowl 

[ 82 ] 



We paddled away with a spoon. 







GO TO SEA IN A BOWL 


was blown about on the high waves like a peanut shell, 
and we were very sorry we had left our little cottage. 

But the worst of it all was that the bowl was cracked, and 
the water poured into it and we began to sink, and none of 
us could swim. 

And we weren’t smart enough to know how. 

And down and down and down we went through the water 
till we came to the very bottom of the ocean. 

‘T think we’re drowned,” said we to ourselves. 

“There’s not a doubt about it,” we answered ourselves. 

So we walked along the bottom of the ocean and we came 
to many strange fish indeed. And one of them was sitting 
face to face with itself, as you may say upon a great rock, for 
it had two faces, the extra one where its tail should rightly 
have been. And it was singing to itself a kind of duet, one face 
singing a very high, but clear soprano, and the other a deep 
and touching contralto. 

“It’s a star fish,” said I. 

“A sunset fish,^’ said my first brother. 

“A comet fish,” said my second brother. 

“Amoonfish,” said the fish itself, stopping its song to settle 
our argument and speaking with both voices in harmony. 

“I’ve never heard of one,” said I. 

“You’re very scarce,” said my first brother. 

“There are only a few of you,” said my second brother. 

“I’m the only one,” said the moonfish. 

“But we interrupted your singing,” said I. “Pray go on.” 

“Very well, if you wish it,” said the moonfish: 

“Whenever I am feeling sad, 

I always sing to make me glad. 

But strange to say 
Fish swim away, 

I wonder if my singing’s bad?” 

[ 83 ] 


KING KURIOSITY 


But we hastened to say that we had never remembered 
hearing fish sing so beautifully. Whereat the moonfish 
blushed modestly and clearing its throats, at once began to 
sing a very pretty ballad which it said was called “Friday,” 
and it went like this: 



— FRIDAY — 

‘The bass and the salmon 
Were playing backgammon. 

The dogfish were 
playing at chess. 

The little whitefish 
Was making a wish. 

She wanted to wear 
a new dress. 

The horsefish were 
prancing. 

The starfish were dancing. 

The swordfish were fencing with 
swords. 

And lobsters and eels 

Sat in automobiles 

And rode just as stately as lords.” 



The starfish were 
dancing. 



The swordfish were fencing. 



And lobsters and eels sat in 
automobiles. 


[ 84 ] 










GO TO SEA IN A BOWL 


When the moonfish had finished the first verse we applauded, 
and thus encouraged, the moonfish went on with the second: 

The pike and the perch 
Were going to church. 

To pray for a nice rainy day. 

While a jolly old carp 
With a snail for a harp. 

Was teaching his daughter to play. 

Nearby, Mr. Frog, 

With his wife, danced a clog 
Like mad on the top of a leaf. 

And two poor little clams 
Just as quiet as lambs 
Were playing ‘old maid’ on a leaf.” 

And the moonfish sang for an encore (for we had ap¬ 
plauded very much — a little too much perhaps) a song for 
which it is said it had written both the words and music. 
It^was called “Shellfish,” and it went like this: 

“I know a silly crocodile 
Who says he always wears a smile 
Because it tickles him to eat 
Crabs’ and shrimps’ and lobsters’ feet.” 




The pike and the 
perch were going to 
church. 



Two poor little 
clams. 


Just as quiet as 
lambs. 









CHAPTER TWENTY 


THEY MEET MYRTLE 

And we thanked the moonfish and wishing it good day, we 
continued our walk along the bottom of the ocean, and saw 
many strange and beautiful caves, and in one of them we saw 
a great chest, and it was full of gold and silver and beautiful 
jewels. 

“Ah, ha,” said I, “it is a Treasure Chest, and if we could 
only get it up out of here, we would be the richest men in all 
the world.” 

“How’ll we get it up.^” said my first brother. 

“Let us think,” said my second brother. 

So we went into the cave and sat upon the Treasure 
Chest and putting our fingers to our foreheads, we thought 
and thought and thought to our hearts’ content, but although 
we were very wise, we didn’t know how to get the chest up. 

And, as we sat thinking, two old crabs came and stood in 
the doorway, as you may say — and they were enormous. 

And the two old crabs looked at the Three Wise Men and 
then, sitting on their haunches, licked their chops just as a 
dog does when he is about to chew a bone. 

Said one old crab unto his mate: 

“I’m hungry for a bite of bait. 

There’s just enough meat on those three 

To make a meal for you and me.” 

You see they intended eating us and we were very much 
afraid. 

To which the other made reply: 

[86] 


THEY MEET MYRTLE 


‘Tt is not meet that you and I 
Eat human flesh. It is a sin. 

Besides, these men are much too thin.” 

“Tut, tut, my friend,” said Number One, 

“I say, when all is said and done 
Men never seem to think of that 
When they eat us. It’s tit for tat.” 

“Quite so, old dear,” said Number Two, 

“I tell you what I think we’ll do. 

Perhaps this is the proper hunch. 

Let’s eat the three of them for lunch.” 

Said Number One, “You are a dunce. 

For I remember reading once. 

That if you would not be a deevil 
You must render good for evil.” 

Well, whether they would have eaten us or not we never 
knew, for at that moment, because we had caught cold, what 
with the dampness of the ocean, all of us sneezed at one and 
the same time and the two old crabs were so frightened that 
they scurried away as fast as their legs would carry them. 
And we Wise Men knelt down on the floor of the ocean and 
gave thanks for our escape, saying: 

“Our thanks to you, most goodly sneeze 
That scared away our enemies. 

Like all good friends, thou came indeed 
When we, for help, were most in need. 

So let us close our pious eyes 
For he who prays is very wise.” 

[ 87 ] 


KING KURIOSITY 


And when our prayer was finished, we arose and wrung the 
water from our trouser bottoms. 

‘‘Now we must find a way to get this Treasure Chest up out 
of here,” said we. 

“Let us think.” 

And we thought. 


CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE 


THEIR TALE HAD BEEN LONGER 

And as we thought, a tremendous turtle crept up to the 
cave and looked in at the doorway, for it was too large to 
come into the cave. 

“Greetings,” said the turtle, “and it’s a strange sight to 
behold three gentlemen here. I’ve lived many thousand years 
on the bottom of this old ocean, but in all my born days, I 
don’t ever remember seeing anybody here before. Tell me 
how you got here.” 

So we told the turtle how it all happened and that now, 
having had enough of the water, we would like to go home 
and get dried out. 

“We have a feeling that we’d like to get out of here,” said 
we. “But we seem to think we’d like to take the chest with 
us, for it is very valuable and we would be very rich.” 

“You’re not so very wise after all,” said the turtle, “for I, 
who am not wise at all, can easily see how it may be done.” 

“And how’s that.^” asked we. 

“Simple enough,” said the turtle. 

“Who and what are you.^” we asked all of a breath. “And 
how may we get the Treasure Chest up out of here?” 

“My name is Myrtle.” 

Said the turtle, 

“My age is ninety-one or two. 

I weigh a ton. 

But I can run 

As fast as any one of you. 

[89] 


KING KURIOSITY 


I crawl this floor 
From shore to shore, 

I’m what you call a Jitney Ford. 

So take the chest, 

And leave the rest 

To me; step lively; hop aboard.” 

‘Tt is very kind of you to offer us such help,” said we, and 
we pulled at the chest till we had it out of the cave. Then we 
fastened it to one of Myrtle’s legs with a bit of chain we found 



at a nearby shipwreck and when this had been done, we 
hopped up on Myrtle’s back and away we went. 

But Myrtle crawled along very slowly in spite of what she 
had said about being able to run as fast as any one. 

“We’ll never get out of here at this rate,” said we, but we 
didn’t know much after all, for just then a couple of sea 
horses came along and, as you may say, lent Myrtle a hand. 

Well, it wasn’t long before we reached the shore, and as we 
came up out of the ocean upon the beach, you may imagine 
our surprise when we discovered we were right in front of our 

[90] 


















THEIR TALE HAD BEEN LONGER 


own little cottage where we had started from. And Myrtle 
dragged the Treasure Chest up on the beach. 

And we began to think how rich we were with all that 
treasure. 

But instead of being satisfied with dividing it into three 
equal parts we began to quarrel because each one of us wanted 
more than our share. 

And we came to blows and began to fight. 

And we fought and fought and fought till we were all 
three of us exhausted and could fight no more. 

And then we sat down upon the beach to get our breaths 
and fight again. But to our great surprise we discovered that 
Myrtle and the Treasure Chest had disappeared. 

“Where to?” asked Hutch. 

“We never knew,” said the Wise Men. “The only thing 
we can think of is that although Myrtle was only a stupid 
turtle, she was wiser than we. For she knew that we would 
have killed one another for the treasure and she must have 
thought that the best thing to do would be to take the treasure 
away from us. 

“So she must have crawled away down into the ocean again 
while we were fighting. 

“And that’s the end of my story. And if you are wise, 
Hutch, you will be satisfied with what you are and what you 
have, and not quarrel with your brother or your friend for 
what is his. And no matter how wise you become you will 
never learn anything more important than that.” 


CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO 


GOOD-BYE TO MOTHER GOOSE 

One day King Kuriosity said to Hutch: 

“Hutchie, my lad, I will soon have to leave this very 
wonderful country and go back to my own people in the land 
of Whyandwherefore. They will soon begin to wonder what 
has become of me.” 

And Hutch looked sad indeed. 

‘T, too, will have to go back to my own land of Iz,” said 
he, “for school will be opening and I shall have to get out my 
books and begin to study again.” 

And King Kuriosity looked sad indeed and there was a 
tear in his eye when he said: 

“I am sorry to hear you say that, my lad, for we have been 
very good friends, and I shall be very sorry to see the last of 
you. But maybe you will be able to come with me to the 
land of Whyandwherefore and pay me a little visit. Indeed, 
I should be glad to have you come and live with me for the 
rest of your life.” 

“Thank you. King Kuriosity,” said Hutch. “There is 
nothing I would rather do than be with you. I must get back 
to school, but I will go with you for a little visit first.” 

So it was arranged, and they went to Mother Goose and 
told her that they must go, and she sat down on her own 
doorstep and cried and cried. 

“If you will only stay here,” said she to King Kuriosity, 
“I will give you all the land you want, and I will build you 
a marvelous castle as beautiful as ever you want and I will 
give you your heart’s desire.” And to Hutch she said: “I 

[92] 


GOOD-BYE TO MOTHER GOOSE 


will build you a school all for yourself and give you the kindest 
teacher you’ve ever dreamed of, or, if you don’t want to go to 
school, you may stay out of it for the rest of your life. Only 
please don’t go away.” 

And King Kuriosity said with tears in his voice: 

“Thank you. Mother Goose, dear Mother Goose, my good 
woman, but I must return to my own land and to my own 
people, for that is the duty of a king and I must do what I 
must do.” 

And Hutch said: 

“Thank you, very much, my dear friend Mother Goose, but 
I must go to school, and although you have been as good as 
any mother to me, I must go to my own mother, for she will 
be waiting for me and will miss me if I do not go back to 
her. Perhaps next year I will come to see you if I may.” 

And Mother Goose told Hutch that as long as he lived he 
would always find a home with her. 

And when it was agreed that King Kuriosity and Hutch 
were to leave Rhymeland they got out the old wheelbarrow 
airplane and dusted off the cobwebs that had grown all over 
it during their stay with Mother Goose. 

The next morning, when it came time for King Kuriosity 
and Hutch to leave Rhymeland, Mother Goose gave another 
breakfast party just like the one she gave for them when they 
first came to Rhymeland, only she was wise enough to lock 
up the Spider That Frightened Miss Muffet Away, and she 
told the Pussy Cat That Had Been to London to See the Queen 
that she mustn’t quarrel with the pussy cat that Tommy 
Green had thrown down the well. 

And the breakfast went off without any trouble, and not 
a dish broke, though once there was nearly a row when 
Jack Be Nimble jumped over the candlestick and landed in 
the middle of Georgey Porgey’s puddings and pies. But Hutch 

[93] 


KING KURIOSITY 


pulled him out and wiped the pie from his face and in a 
minute all was quiet again. 

And when the breakfast was all over and Mother Goose and 
all her animals and people came out before the little house, 
there were King Kuriosity and Hutch, and they got into the 
wheelbarrow airplane and everybody and animal cheered 
and waved their hands and paws and hoofs and Mother 
Goose got up on her very fine Gander and flew away with 
King Kuriosity and Hutch to show them the way, because 
that was the polite thing to do. 

And when they had gone a mile or so Mother Goose 
shouted “Good-bye,” and told them to come see her again, 
for there would always be a welcome for them in Rhymeland. 

King Kuriosity sailed his wheelbarrow airplane over the 
land and after a while they came to his own country: the land 
of Whyandwherefore. Of course his people were glad to see 
him and gave him about three thousand cheers and they 
gave Hutch almost as many more. 

And King Kuriosity gave Hutch a great banquet and all 
the princes and dukes and barons and counts of Whyand¬ 
wherefore were there and they dressed up in all their Sunday 
best and they asked so many questions it was near the next 
before King Kuriosity and Hutch could answer them all. 

And of course the people of Whyandwherefore were aston¬ 
ished to hear all about Ethel, the Cow That Jumped Over the 
Moon, and Thomas J. Pig, Esquire, Who Went to Market, 
and Simple Simon and All the King’s Horses and all the rest. 

And Hutch stayed in the land of Whyandwherefore for about 
a week, and everybody loved him so that when it came time 
for him to go all the princes and dukes and barons and counts 
cried and cried till the rivers and lakes came near over¬ 
flowing, and it was a good thing that Hutch finally left or 
there might have been a flood. 

[94] 


GOOD-BYE TO MOTHER GOOSE 


So, early one morning, King Kuriosity got out the old 
wheelbarrow airplane again and he and Hutch were off before 
anybody was up, because Hutch didn’t want them to cry 
any more. 

And before you could say “Zip,” they had reached the 
land of Iz where Hutch lived and there were tears in King 
Kuriosity’s eyes when he said good-bye. 

But Hutch promised that when his next vacation came 
round he would spend it with King Kuriosity. 

So Hutch went back to his mother and she was very glad 
to see him and he to see her, and when it was time he went to 
school and King Kuriosity went back to the land of Why- 
andwherefore, and that’s the very tip end of this story. 



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